Written by Harry Porter

Wednesday, 8 November 2006

image for Madonna Blocks Cher from Entering Kenya
Cher - raising the stakes in aid for developing countries.

Cher's low-key pledge to help a Kenyan village may well be blocked by another superstar - Madonna. In an apparent rage at being upstaged in her adoption bid, Madge has bought the East African state to stop her singing rival entering the country.

News that Cher had offered her support to a Scottish couple, who had spent their life savings setting up the 'Peace Village School and Orphanage Trust', has emphatically raised the stakes in Hollywood.

The lack of publicity surrounding Cher's gesture has made it seem an act of genuine compassion, and has been viewed as the first strike in a war of celebrity oneupmanship.

Angelina Jolie immediately issued a statement to the world media privately asking for privacy in her "very private decision to privately adopt every child under the age of six in Mozambique".

Madonna instantly responded by revealing she had bought Kenya for an undisclosed sum and was adopting everyone.

She also said visas to enter the country would be granted at her discretion and she no longer saw any purpose in "that one-time cabaret singer" visiting.

Since Madonna's visit to Malawi and the subsequent adoption furore, the share price in African children has risen, on average, 11 points on the international stock markets.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Madonna, Cher

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