USA - No sooner had the pixels faded on MSNBCNN's high-tech maps (ABCNBCBS News, if you aren't being gouged by cable or satellite) showing the Democratic sweep, than a parade of Dem leaders popped on screen to declare "a new day in America," and other NON-gloating phrases.
The non-gloaters took turns not to gloat in perfect political politeness, grabbing face time on various "America Chooses: Special Reports," each more non-gloating than the last. It was an absolute rout in non-gloating.
But, beware! Non-gloating requires interpretation to detect the real gloat hidden beneath it; and in the name of truth and justice, we at The Spoof! can offer some advise - in case you're too gloat-deprived to detect it yourself.
The names have been redacted to protect the sensitive Dem gloat-emitter (located in the frontal lobe somewhere), but we won't gloat.
Mix 'n' match freely:
NON-GLOAT PHRASES
- We will work in a bipartisan manner.
- The past is the past.
- Let's not talk numbers.
- Let bygones be bygones.
- We want to move America forward.
- American is looking to the future.
- It's a new day.
- Democrats will seek cooperation.
GLOATING PHRASES
- We got the good end.
- Bite us.
- Assume the position.
- We're ordering drapes.
- Nyah nyah.
- WE'RE NUMBER 1!!!
- We're N + 1, so there.
- Let the hearings begin.
