Ikea to launch flat-pack families
After the rush of interest shown in their recently proposed range of flat-pack, timber framed houses, Ikea have announced that they are planning to extend the project to include a ready-made family to go with their ready-built homes.
Read full storyBAE's secret deals with Wile E. Coyote revealed
Secret payments of millions of pounds from Britain's largest arms company, BAE, have been found in a Swiss bank account belonging to a Mr Wile. E Coyote, a controversial figure in the world of assassination attempts on cartoon birds, fuelling rum...
Read full storyBotham Slams Cheating Aussies
Former cricketing legend Ian Botham has tonight branded the Australian cricket team as a bunch of cheats who are nothing more than descendants of convicts.
Read full storyWhite house "alarm" over health of dollar as teenager buys Wyoming on eBay
U.S government officials are hurriedly trying to hush up an embarrassing adminstration error which led to a schoolboy in Yorkshire buying the state of Wyoming for £17.50, plus tax, on the eBay website.
Read full storyFirst Among Equals?
Disgraced Peer and ex-con Jeffrey Archer is on the come-back trail with his new book.
Read full storyBritney Spears Addresses Recent Antics in Press Conference
(BBP Newswire) - Former Mickey Mouseketeer and lip-synching industry blow-up doll Britney Spears addressed her recent brow-raising foibles in a shocking Malibu press conference today.
Read full storyJennifer Aniston Manufacturing Voodoo Dolls For Christmas
In the spirit of Christmas giving, Jennifer Aniston has started manufacturing voodoo dolls in her basement. Originally started as a personal venture, (like Mrs. Fields chocolate chip cookies) close friends and relatives requested a few, (as happened with Mrs. Fields chocolate chip cookies). Word of mouth spread and soon a website was born, along with counter space at Barneys, Wilkes Bashford and W...
Read full storyMan Seen Chopping Wood Viewed as Anachronism - Americans Redefine Word, "Work"
A man witnessed today chopping wood beside his house was seen by eye witnesses as an anachronism, in this day and age, barely identifiable. A spokesperson for the National Preservation of Anachronisms (NPA) said that most people would not recognize t...
Read full storyTwo Appalachian State Players Fight Each Other - Team Heads For Inbred Bowl Next Week
Several players for the Appalachian State football team showed their true colors yesterday after getting into a fight with each other on the sidelines in the second half of the Montana State game. The game, which marked the I-AA championship playoff...
Read full storyParis Hilton, Britney Spears, and Others to Participate in New Reality Show
Hollywood Starlets and media darlings Paris Hilton, Britney Spears, Lindsey Lohan, Madonna, Paula Abdul, Shakira, and several others have all agreed to appear on the new television reality series "The Great American Skank-off." The women will compet...
Read full storySalmond In Swipe At Big Two Saturday Shows
Firebrand north of the border politician and leader of the SNP, Alex Salmond, has caused uproar in media circles by claiming that Saturday night prime-time TV in the UK is blatantly riddled with institutional anti-Scottishism.
Read full storyBanished Nazi Santas sent to Crawford, Texas
Berlin - (Associated Mess): A consignment of Nazi-saluting Santa Claus figurines that gave offence to countless local citizens has been saved from the ignominies of the industrial incinerator after a canny Texan tourist spied an unusual festive busin...
Read full storyUS embargo on Cuba finally working
The CIA is celebrating the success of the United States embargo imposed on Cuba, of which the Pentagon believes are finally working after 44 years.
Read full storyPrince William Delights Crowds Of Christmas Shoppers
Future King of England, if he can hang on long enough, Prince William, today amazed shoppers in Windsor as he mingled with the crowds of pre-Christmas shoppers.
Read full storyTop People's School Appoints Radical Cleric As New Chaplain
Top People's Public School, Eton College, has appointed a new Chaplain after the long-time holder of the position the Rt. Rev. Cuthbert Digby-Travers has retired.
Read full storyThe Handbags and The Glad Rags
Top paper industry executive David Brent has confessed that the hit BBC comedy series The Office was not in fact a comedy show after all but was actually a cinéma véritée piece.
Read full story