Salmond In Swipe At Big Two Saturday Shows

Written by Duff

Sunday, 3 December 2006

image for Salmond In Swipe At Big Two Saturday Shows
Salmond believes scenes like this would be banned from the ant-Scottishist media

Firebrand north of the border politician and leader of the SNP, Alex Salmond, has caused uproar in media circles by claiming that Saturday night prime-time TV in the UK is blatantly riddled with institutional anti-Scottishism.

Speaking from his home in Scotland the moaning paranoid Scotsman pointed to the X Factor and Strictly Come Dancing as proof of his extraordinary claims.

The Spoof quotes Mr Salmond and has provided translations, for those readers who live in the Home Counties, where necessary.

"Look at last night wull ye (will you)? Who got bucked-off (thrown out of) the X Factor? The MacDonald Brothers that's who!" fumed Salmond before turning his guns on Strictly Come Dancing.

"Aye! (yes) an' fwoat aboot (and what about) the dancing show? They got rid of Carol Smillie! So that's both evictees on both shows Scottish! And you have the cheek to suggest that there isn't anything funny going on! Come off it!"

Mr Salmond is so incensed about what he sees as dirty work at the very heart of our two largest TV networks, that he has tabled an early day motion in Commons for next Thursday, when he intends to bring the matter to the attention of the Prime Minister.

The Spoof understands however that Mr Salmond's efforts may be to no avail as the PM is a strictly no reality TV man, preferring Holby City and Who Wants to be a Millionaire of a Saturday evening, when he spends a night in with his money grabbing wife Cherie

Billy Connolly was today unavailable for comment but it's widely known in TV circles that he's fuming about not having been on TV for a while now except for repeats on UK Gold and of course that doesn't really count.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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