Heather Hills Festival Hit With Punters

Written by Janet Hedges

Sunday, 3 December 2006


The story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Don't "wine" about the cold weather! There's no reason to moan as the brand new Heather Hills festival has promised to warm up your cockles.

Former one legged prostitute Hills is offering up to 25 different sexual services at great prices. In fact, some customers are saying it really goes against the grain of the usual prices for street strumpets!

As well as the usual services offered by sex-oulets, punters can also try homegrown varieties of intercourse picked up by Heather on her various travels.

And if you're struggling to choose, customers can opt to sample up to three different positions, without any financial obligation.

Hill's marketing manager, John Sauter, who has organised the sex festival, said: "Heather is becoming increasingly popular, and the festival will give our customers the opportunity to enjoy a range of fun fantasies with her".

Opening hours: 9am-midnight, Sunday-Wednesday; 9am-2am, Thursday-Saturday.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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