Widowed Housewife Unsure Of Her Poem's Merit
Ireland -Three days ago, recently widowed housewife, Eileen O' Hara from Portlaoise, Ireland wrote a short poem amid a fit of woebegone tears. The poem, entitled "The Long Short Goodbye" remembers her late husband Peter O&...
Read full storyMichael Jackson and Paris Hilton: Made for Each Other !
HOLLYWOOD (AP) In one of the least likely Hollywood pairings, Michael Jackson and Paris Hilton have been spending a lot of time with each other. Successfully outwitting the paparazzi by hanging out in Wal-Mart and McDonalds, Michael and Paris are at...
Read full storyMichael Jackson Stripped of Papacy
The shortest Papacy in history reached it's sorry, some would say inevitable, conclusion at noon today with the announcement that newly installed Pontiff, Pope Ringo I had been caught in flagrante with his trousers down, if not off, so to speak.
Read full storyBrad and Jen kidnapped by the cast of Oceans Twelve
Los Angeles, California -- It's been close to 3 months after Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston's shocking announcement that stunned the world, but there are still fans who just won't accept their decision.
Read full storyUS Air Travelers Required to Fly In Their Underwear
Washington, DC-- The Federal Aviation Administration is currently undergoing negotiations with Frederick's of Hollywood, Victoria's Secret, Hanes and Stanfields to contract for the production of disposable skivvies to be worn on all flights o...
Read full storyMutated Rats on Loose in Mispronounced Norwegian City
KYRGYZSTAN, Norway -- The descendants of laboratory rats that escaped being killed in the 1980s and crossbred wild rats, are running amok in Kyrgyzstan, a city long mispronounced by even those born here.
Read full storyMan Says One of his Hands is Trying to Kill him; Rare Disease Blamed
SEATTLE, Wash. -- A lonely pawnbroker named Sam Sistamata has petitioned a court to have a surgeon cut off his left hand--even though there is no physical reason to do so.
Read full storyFeds close in on JFK Jr's killers
(Martha's Vineyard, Massachusetts; Wednesday 7 July) Just days away from the fifth anniversary of the sudden and unexpected death of John F Kennedy Jr, his wife Carolyn and sister-in-law Lauren who died when the Piper Saratoga he was piloting my...
Read full storySam Walton rises from grave to testify in Wal-Mart class action suit
BENTONVILLE, AR - Sam Walton was seen rising from his grave early yesterday wearing only a scowl, and he told a surprised cemetery worker that he was hopping mad at the mess his children have made of the company he worked so hard to build.
Read full storyArms Ban Underway In Australia
AUSTRALIA -- In what has become a first for the Australian Federal Government and Australia,Prime Minister Mr Johnny Howard has declared a total ban on illegal arms.
Read full storyChina Declares War on Japan over Noodle Rich East China Sea
The East China Sea is unbelievably rich with natural noodles and is probably not only the largest ever noodle sea, the noodles are of the highest possible raw grade. Naturally, when it comes to National needs and desires, it was inevitable that soone...
Read full storyUpdate: First cats, now democracy - Wisconsin killing spree continues
Madison, Wis. - The voters made their voice heard - "let us kill cats, let us stamp out these vermin." Now, however, Governor Jim Doyle has decided to stamp out democracy in the state by announcing that he will not allow cat hunting to continue.
Read full storyNASA's Hubble Space Telescope Targeted by Bush Administration
FORT SILL, OK (STARS & STRIPES) Within moments of the Bush Administration's failure to fund repairs to the NASA Hubble Space Telescope, an order was given to the US Army 30th Field Artillery Regiment to shoot down the aging telescope from its orb...
Read full storyYellowstone Park Eruption Prompts US Bio-Warfare Against World, Deadly Flu Strain Sent Overseas
In anticipation of the Yellowstone Park Eruption the US Bush Administration has decided to clear most of the World in order to provide long term alternative homelands for the American people. The White House confirmed today that President Bush had or...
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