Michael Jackson and Paris Hilton: Made for Each Other !

Written by Morgan Truce

Thursday, 14 April 2005


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HOLLYWOOD (AP) In one of the least likely Hollywood pairings, Michael Jackson and Paris Hilton have been spending a lot of time with each other. Successfully outwitting the paparazzi by hanging out in Wal-Mart and McDonalds, Michael and Paris are attempting to blend in with ordinary people. Paris Hilton tried on shoes in the local Wal-Mart while Michael Jackson checked out the uni-sex umbrellas. Even when they walked around the store hand in hand, no one seemed to take notice.

"Paris is a lot of fun to be with," said Michael Jackson. "She's really a very down to earth girl. Before we leave the store, we'll put a few quarters into the Sam's Choice soda pop machine and take a few cans out to the car. We usually sit out in the lot and neck for a few hours. Honestly, it's not as exciting as making out with young boys, but if I just close my eyes and think of Macauly Caulkin, things can get pretty hot between Paris and me! "

As Paris Hilton tried on a pair of shoes with a price reduction of 27 cents, she seemed like just an ordinary Wal-Mart shopper. Her shopping cart was loaded up with bargain priced toilet paper, cosmetics, and ground beef patties. "I love shopping here with Michael," said Paris Hilton. We love to play games with the Wal-Mart greeter and try out all the kiddie rides in the front of the store. Michael and I have a very special relationship, you know. I love the way he always closes his eyes when we make out. I've dated a lot of guys who are real big studs, but Michael really knows how to make a woman feel special. He'll do just about anything to please me."

Later in the evening, Michael and Paris go to McDonalds and get a pair of Happy Meals.

Michael and Paris have been talking about getting married and having a bunch of children. Michael would be very good with the boys, and Paris is very fond of playing with dolls and little girls.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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