Britney Spears To Visit Iraq In "Hearts And Minds" Tour.
Britney Spears press office today announced that the multiple-platinum recording artist would be visiting Iraq in early June.
Read full storyNorth American Al-Qaida Franchise Up For Grabs!
Unconfirmed Sources report that the North American Franchise of Al-Qaida is now up for bid. The Local branch has been closed since 911 when the entire staff was permanently reassigned.
Read full storyWegman (Pudgy) Waterhouse to Testify Before Plame Grand Jury
In a surprise move Unnamed White House Source Wegman (Pudgy) Waterhouse has been subpoenaed by the Grand Jury investigating the case involving the public naming of ex CIA agent Valerie Plame, to Conservative columnist Robert Novak who dutifully repor...
Read full storyAl-Qaeda In Talks To Form Alliance with Ku Klux Klan; Jerry Springer a Potential Stumbling Block.
Citing similarities in strategic objectives: "The elimination of the United States Government and the destruction of the Jewish State", Al-Qaeda today announced that it was close to finalizing a strategic alliance with the Ku Klux Klan. Inside source...
Read full storyElton John Hits Out At Childrens TV Programme
Fresh from his remarks that US show American Idol is racist, Sir Elton John has hit out at children's TV programme 'Teletubbies', calling it 'filth' and 'xenophobic'.
Read full storyBritish Musician, Blinded 22 Years Ago, Has Vision Restored By "SCIENCE!!"
(London) Musician Thomas Dolby, 45, who had been blinded 22 years ago in an unfortunate incident, had his sight restored today by Surgeons at London's Stanley Baldwin Ophthalmological Institute.
Read full storySupreme Court Justice Attacked, Says 'There Oughta Be A Law'
Supreme Court Justice David Souter was attacked while jogging in Washington DC, but not seriously injured. A group of men accosted the Justice, who is considered to be, along with Ruth Bader Ginsberg among the more liberal of the Supreme Judiciary. O...
Read full storyGodzilla to Stomp Iraqis Flat
Fallujah, Iraq - In an attempt to restore order to an embattled and war-torn Iraq, President Bush announced today that the United States will be sending Godzilla to restore order and, according to one White House official, "to stomp the crap out of e...
Read full storyNew Study Reveals That Explosions Are Cool
Boomer, Wyoming - A scientific study, published by the National Institute for Blowing Things Up, indicates that explosions are cool.
Read full storyScientist Discovers What Michael Jackson Is, Begins Drinking Heavily
Toledo, Ohio - Scientists at the National Institute for the Study of Bizarre Androgynous Freaks have completed a seven-month study on pop star Michael Jackson. The results of the study are reported to be too terrifying for words.
Read full storyFBI Illegally Obtains and Publishes Controversial George Bush Memo
A rogue FBI field agent today told writer KungFu IceSkater that he had illegally obtained copies of George W. Bush's new personal dictionary of common phrases. Excerpts from the dictionary follow. "I George W. Bush, do declare the following d...
Read full storySiege of Onion Compound Ends! Military Withdraws and Declares Victory.
Unconfirmed Sources report that US Forces have withdrawn from the area surrounding the embattled Onion Compound. The surprise pullout began last night after negotiations broke down with the staff of the The Onion. As the trucks and tanks left the are...
Read full storyGeorge W Bush in sex scandal
George W Bush's reputation took a severe bruising today as it was revealed that he had had an affair with a Whitehouse intern. This latest setback could spell the end for the President as his reputation takes another beating on the back of allegat...
Read full storyValerie Plame and the Politics of Cooking
Ambassador Joseph Wilson, whose allegations that his wife, ex CIA Operative Valerie Plame's outing by the White House is the topic of his newly published book, ‘The Politics of Truth'. In it, Ambassador Wilson names as a possible suspect in the leak...
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