Written by Unconfirmed Source

Sunday, 2 May 2004

image for North American Al-Qaida Franchise Up For Grabs!
Al-Qaida Franchise Manager

Unconfirmed Sources report that the North American Franchise of Al-Qaida is now up for bid. The Local branch has been closed since 911 when the entire staff was permanently reassigned.

Global Franchise manager Mohammad Mohammad explained the situation. "I have to say, It has been a real oversight on our part. When the franchisees vacated their office certain files were lost, including their Franchise Termination Forms. Apparently they had forgotten to mail them. We didn't get the forms and we didn't even realize we needed to reassign the franchise. We are very embarrassed about the oversight and trying to rectify the situation as fast as we can."

"This kind of stuff is common in organizations like this." said one management consultant. "When you get dispersed networks, like Al-Qaida, organizational communications is a real problem. These guys in the North American branch had a big project on and they just didn't communicate very well with headquarters. Of course the headquarters staff had their own issues. If they had been more proactive in their corporate communications heading down the organizational chain the oversight would not have been made. It's a real shame they couldn't get things together. Al-Qaida has certainly lost some opportunities in the North American Market."

White supremacist leader Bud Johnson gave his take on the situation. "It's been a real boon to us. They were a big player in the competitive North American market and we have been glad that they have been out of it. I mean, I don't wish them any ill, they had some organization challenges to overcome during that period, but I think they are going to get things worked out and regain there competitiveness. We will be ready for them."

The North American Franchise is up for auction and should be picked up soon. It is expected to go for quite a premium considering the value of the territory and its long term growth potential.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Report, Franchise

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