Platform calls for Nader resigning... or else
WASHINGTON -- The 2004 Democratic platform to be presented to the party's convention in July calls for a wholesale rewriting of President Bush's national security strategy, promises a focus on preventing nuclear terrorism and calls for bribin...
Read full storyMilosevic: Splitting Headache!
THE HAGUE, Netherlands (AP) Slobodan Milosevic has developed a splitting headache after listening to hours of testimony about his alleged war crimes in Yugoslavia. "These horrible stories are enough to give any man a headache! I even ran out of...
Read full storyTotal Smacking Ban in Middle East
Amid the uproar over child smacking in Great Britain, comes the news that Middle Eastern countries have followed suit and placed an outright ban.
Read full storyMaria Sharapova Signs Deal
Maria Sharapova really needs an antiperspirant that works on those huge Russian armpits. "My pits got a heavy workout this past week at Wimbledon. I never would have won if I didn't use Arrid Brand deodorant. Arrid kept me dry while my oppon...
Read full storyJoke prices rise on renewed fear of shortage
LONDON : Joke prices were lifted by a weekend gag attack in Iraq and increasing signs that the Organisation of Joke Exporting Countries (OJEC) could hold back on a planned production hike next month.
Read full storyIraq Declares War on Afghanistan: US Army Fights Itself
In a surprising twist to Near and Middle Eastern affairs, the newly installed Iraqi Interim Government has declared war on Afghanistan. This puts the American Government, who have Occupation Forces in both countries in the unique position of having t...
Read full story"Fahrenheit 911" Destroys Industry
The Association of Thermometer Manufacturers is not happy with Michael Moore's new movie "Fahrenheit 911". Karl H. Dorfman, public relations speaker for ART, says, "We do not like Michael Moore. His new movie is making people think...
Read full storyStelios Launces EasyLoo
Easyjet founder Stelios Haji-Ioannou hopes to offer discount toilet services across Europe.
Read full storyFrench glee: Putin confesses letter 'A' missing from surname
[(St Petersburg, Russia; Monday 5 July) An etymological blunder going back to the days when Napoleon was hell-bent on conquering Russia is blamed for a series of miss-spellings of the family name of Vladimir Putin.
Read full storyNostradamus "predicted" Greek Win
Soothsayer and Genoan Rotarian Nostradamus appears to have predicted the shock win of Greece in Euro 2004 four hundred years before the event, researchers revealed today.
Read full storyKofi Annan reunited with Morgan Freeman
The Secretary General of the UN, Kofi Annan, has been reunited with his long lost Brother, actor and Ukulele magnate Morgan Freeman.
Read full storyMilosevic to begin Hague defence with a Showtune
Former Yugoslav President Slobodan Milosevic will launch his defence on Monday morning at the Hague tribunal by bursting into song.
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