Stelios Launces EasyLoo

Written by Stu B

Monday, 5 July 2004

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Plop in anytime

Easyjet founder Stelios Haji-Ioannou hopes to offer discount toilet services across Europe.

"We hope for number one or number two" he said
They aim to cut costs by leasing sewage from big-name toilet firms, and selling the extra capacity over the internet. They hope to have their new services up and running later this year.

Ganging up
Mr Haji-Ioannou, whose other ventures include a discount car hire business and a chain of internet cafes, is currently in talks to buy spare capacity from established toilet networks.

He told The Spoof that he was "optimistic" that the negotiations would be successful. "It is entirely possible that all the big job players will gang up on me and refuse to sell me pootime," he said.

"But preliminary talks have indicated to me that you always find someone who's hungry for a bit more business, it's time to piss or get off the pot really."

" we are looking at the pooing customer who is pretty regular and can decide that they are prepared to hang on for a bit longer than normal, in order to take advantage of some very cheap pricing"

He also warned that it may take some time for the new venture - named EasyLoo - to find its feet.

"Personally, when I invest in an industry, I usually think in terms of decades rather than the next financial quarter."

Bryanair challenge
Mr Haji-Ioannou's EasyGroup also hopes to extend its low cost business model to the hotels, cinema, and pizza delivery industries.

Bryanair's rival 'no-paper' toilet service, to be launched by spin-off Bryanair Toilets on 10 July, aims to reduce the time consuming "roaming" by users who need the toilet when travelling abroad.
Similar cut-price toilet companies are already up and running in Denmark.

On Monday, the Financial Times reported that the European Commission may take legal action against big toilet firms for charging excessively high smells

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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