‘Vampire butterfly ate our eyeballs', say campers
Three campers have undergone emergency surgery in Mlini, Coatia, after being savaged by the so-called ‘vampire butterfly'.
Read full storyGreek Tragedy: Phelps Drowns
Athens, Greece - Tragedy struck the Olympics Friday when the American swimming sensation, Michael Phelps, drowned in the middle of the 100m butterfly.
Read full storyIOC Introduces NASCAR to the Olympics
Aug. 2004, Dover Downs, DE, The International Olympic Committee (IOC) today announced that NASCAR Racing would be added to the summer Olympics in 2008. The Committee members left the Hotel Athens after a marathon session where the issue of N...
Read full storyKobe Arrested Again: Unidentified Star of Kazaam Claims Rape
Kobe Bryant, already set to stand trial for allegedly raping a 19-year-old woman in a Colorado hotel, was arrested at his home Monday after a 32-year-old Miami resident claimed he was raped by Bryant back in June.
Read full storyA Broke, International Olympic Committee Forced To Ask Bill Gates For Money
ATHENS, GREECE-- With a slump in ticket sales and empty seats that haven't been filled, the International Olympic Committee is facing a major issue. Over the last few years they have accumulated over 30 billion dollars in debt and expenses for a...
Read full storyAbu Ghraib Probe Indicates Top Brass Involvement
An army investigation into the Abu Ghraib disaster indicates that it involved not only a few rogue soldiers but also those at the very top. They confirmed that George Tenet had to be involved somewhere as well as that "Stewart woman".
Read full storyRock Revolution Rattles Retirement Business
The first care home exclusively for aging hippies has opened its doors with demand exceeding capacity 40-1.
Read full storyBlunkett's dog argues case for neutering
While Home Secretary David Blunkett remains barricaded behind his wall of silence as his tangled love life is trawled through the British media, his faithful guide dog has snarled: "I should have had him neutered."...
Read full storyAliens abduct winning team
A NATIONAL football league has been thrown into crisis after an entire team was abducted by aliens at the end of a crunch derby game. All 11 players in Slovenia's Produce Sparta side literally dematerialised on the full time whistle after a narrow...
Read full storyAliens fail to distract razor-sharp Sparta
Produce Sparta 1 Sredjna Vas Albion 0 Gutsy defending by the visitors, atrocious weather and a brief alien pitch invasion certainly made this Western Bohinj Division Two derby game a tricky one for Sparta. Produce manager Rietz Allot, speaking...
Read full storyI'm Too Sexy For My Cell
Lotto Rapist Iorworth Hoare was married to pen pal Irene Harrison 55 in 1993. The ceremony was delayed for half an hour due to the bride and the prison rottweilers arriving at the same time. A near tragedy was averted when one of the warders spotted...
Read full story