Abu Ghraib Probe Indicates Top Brass Involvement

Funny story written by Rebut

Friday, 20 August 2004

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Prime suspect

An army investigation into the Abu Ghraib disaster indicates that it involved not only a few rogue soldiers but also those at the very top. They confirmed that George Tenet had to be involved somewhere as well as that "Stewart woman".

Michael Moore, chairman of the committee said that if suitable answers aren't forthcoming, he will be dropped on Yucatan Mexico and wipe out mankind forever. He planned to fall on his stomach to create the oblique point of impact reminiscent of the asteroid 65 million years ago.

Robert Fisk, whose name has been withheld on request and John Pilger said that the West was clearly out of control. They pointed to the Kobe Bryant and Michael Jackson trials as clear indication thereof.

Senator John Kerry, presidential nominee said all this talk of prisons reminded him of the time he was in Laos. The mission had started in Cambodia, then moved by boat to Vietnam before hiking up to Toronto. "Hell I was tossing medals by the bucketful!!"

This was followed by a moving rendition of the Democratic Theme Song : "I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell".

Not to be outdone John Pilger described the horrors he had seen at an American Prison : "It was dirty, unkempt and prisoners had no space to move around through overcrowding".

He went on to describe the more roomy accomodation of the prisons in Iraq and surrounds. In response to a query on the mass graves behind the prisons, he pointed out that people can't have everything. If you want more room one has to be creative.

He also confirmed that Michael Moore's offer to assist the Iraqis had been withdrawn following a telegram from the interim government. It stated that 'his offer to come over was exciting as he could feed Baghdad for a week'.

This must not detract however from the Tricky Trios determination to get to the bottom of western imperialism of which Abu Ghraib was a clear example.

The abuse of prisoners had never been seen in any war before and it was purely a western ploy born of the disgusting degredation of modern society.

The Trio were asked if they would be moving to Iraq or one of the neighbouring countries in order to enjoy all the freedoms so lacking in the West.

Moore confirmed that they had definite plans although it might not take place this century. The key to attacking the West was to buy a palatial New York apartment, roll in luxury and then abuse it. "We must know what it is we are abusing, it's imperative".

He felt that critics of the West who were not obese, feasting at the trough and creating polemic, were hardly critics at all.

A polemic, in the case of Farenheit 9/11, is a documentary ie supposedly factual, which turned out to be so full of rubbish that it became polemic ie basis to argue doctrine and theory.

Stand by for more developments as the Tricky Trio go after the US military top brass. They've promised to grab the ring - which may give them a one way ticket to Sudan. It's lovely this time of year.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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