Bush Loses Chess Match to New Supercomputer
In a surprise turn of events today at the World Championship of Chess, President and Chess Master George W. Bush was defeated by IBM's newest super computer.
Read full storyWe Got a Lemon
As you may remember, a short time ago President Bush called me, thinking I was Colin Powell after apparently misdialing a phone number. I figured that was the end of it, but thank god for technology. This morning I was scrolling back through my phones call history and found a 202 area code on my incoming calls. On a whim, I hit redial. "Good morning there, this is George W. Bush, the...
Read full storyKarl Calls Me
Another morning, another unwelcome phone call. I just wanted to read the morning paper but my cell phone keeps vibrating in my pocket, normally a pleasant sensation, but right now it’s just too early. Still half asleep I reached for the phone, knocking my coffee over. Cursing, I answered, “ What?!” “Chuck? It’s Karl Rove.”, the voice on the other side answered. Great, I would rather it was...
Read full storyCollie Want a Cracker?
It was early in the morning, much too early for telemarketers or bill collectors, you know decent people, when the phone rang. “ Hello, Colin? It’s me, President Georgie Bush. How’re ya all doin today?”...
Read full storyOh, Lord, The Ring
So I was there outside the Cineplex on line for tickets to see the last installment of The Lord Of The Rings- The Return of the King. Sitting huddled against the side of the theatre was a homeless guy, all dirty and stinking of cheap gin. He was dressed in tattered but garishly colorful clothing; bright yellow boots that had seen better days and a torn blue jacket, all stained and worn. He had a...
Read full storyBush Expected to Admit to Affair With Turkey
Washington DC President George Bush will address the nation this evening and is expected to admit to an extra marital affair with a Turkey. An...
Read full storyOzzy Osbourne's Quad Bike Crashed By A Bat Out Of Hell
Paranormal investigators were looking into claims that a ‘bat out of hell' was responsible for the tragic quad bike crash in which Ozzy suffered horrific injuries.
Read full storyCondoms Overrated
HOPE, ANSTRUM BAY -- The glitz has died down over the past several years, as boys and girls of all ages are no longer curious to see whether or not the modern-age invention condoms; actually work at all.
Read full storyKermit The Frog Endorses Howard Dean
Montpelier Vermont: In a speech to save the nations wet lands, entertainer Kermit The Frog announced that he will back former Vermont Governor Howard Dean's bid for the 2004 Democratic nomination.
Read full storyCongressman Janklow convicted of "egg breaking", except with people and not eggs
South Dakota Republican Congressman William (Wild Bill) Janklow was convicted on Monday, December 8 of 2nd Degree Manslaughter in the death of a 55 year old motorcyclist in August.
Read full storyGirlfriend's Australian Accent Getting Annoying
Todd Stevens, 25 of Gainesville, FL, says that the Australian accent of his girlfriend, Tamayra Irwin, 24, has gone from cute and charming to increasingly annoying over the past few months.
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