Bankers should adopt "family values" in the way they work, according to Gordon Brown. In a speech to faith and charity leaders at St Paul's Cathedral, the PM said that he expected bankers to behave wth the highest moral standards, and cited Home S...
As Barack Obama reverses each and every anti science and religiously moralistic Bush administration dogma and doctrine, we have seen fall ignorance of intelligent design and the stupidity of stem cell bans. Now finally the onerous only abstinence bur...
Mormon Church of Latter Day Saints (LDS) leaders gathered in secrecy last night to explore the option of allowing young men the right to masturbate to satisfy their youthful urges. Masturbation has always been forbidden in the church and church le...
A snuggle blanket, which has built in sleeves to allow day-to-day tasks to be performed from under the covers, has been removed from the market. Consumers have raised numerous complaints about the garment, particularly women. Several consumers com...
(New Yawk, NY)-- New scientific data indicates most global warming can be blamed on the common practice of masturbation. The disgusting habit is responsible for raising world-wide temperatures by at least 5 degrees. Only male masturbation was studi...
The Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi has revealed on prime time TV that he has the most bizarre ritual when it comes to masturbating In an interview on Rai Uno, the septagenarian revealed more signs of the madness that is taking over his m...
Another one for the World's Dumbest Criminal files happened late last night at the Kia Manufacturing Plant on Skidmark Drawer Rd., Hoboken, New Jersey. Convicted felon, and current parolee, Iam Reely Adickhead, broke into the ball bearing making p...
In an emotional rollercoaster of a journey last night, a local man uncovered the solitary remaining exciting way to masturbate that had been out of his reach for some time. The joy, quickly turned to sadness for that man however, as the thrill of...
Amid the disasterous sales shortfalls of the holiday season, came a shocking report from a small startup in Tucson AZ. Raine Blay Industries, maker of your standard sex toys like the RU Board Muff Motor, Stiffy the Magic Eel and the Jrnombligo Champi...
President Rush gave several sperm samples to newspaper correspondents on Friday - a goodwill gesture from his loins. It was sticky and some of it stuck to one of the correspondents fingers and that was what he'll miss about being able to masturba...
The Catholic Church has finally faced up to the problem of over-population by permitting its adherents to masturbate. They will, in the words of the Bible be allowed to 'spill their seed upon the ground', though they admit this could be messy and th...
Professional masturbator Jack Orff suffered permanent eye damage today after a marathon wanking session. The ugly computer programmer was going at it in the bedroom for over 6 hours straight in preparation for the World Wanking Championships, whic...
LYNCHING, Va. - A prosecutor says sperm stains led police in Vancouver to a suspect with sticky fingers. Assistant Attorney Bertha Jackson said Lynching police matched stains on an penis enlarger left at the scene of a breaking and entering to 63...
London, UK/ Guardian - In yet another magnanimous offer to "Share the Wealth", President Elect Obama makes a world wide plea for his missing relatives to come forward and make unselfish donations to Britain's ailing Sperm Bank system. Obama was r...
Sir Richard Branston (pickle) was on top form today when he unveiled Virgin groups newest product in an attempt to break into the seedy, competitive and extremely lucrative world of on line pornography. Sir Richard, was led on stage wearing a dog...
A 42 year old man from Dudley in the West Midlands died earlier today after having a wank whilst in the bath. After his bath he popped down to his local newsagents and was instantly killed as he stepped out in the path of a lorry whilst attempting...
J.K.R. the creator of blockbusting fantasy wizard superstar; Harry Potter, is today desperately trying to stop the release of a blue movie starring Daniel Radcliffe. Radcliffe plays the part of a Wizard who's party trick is, well...wanking. But...
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