A cruise liner has reported that they have been boarded by Somali pirates and that several of their passengers have been pushed into the swimming pool, had water splashed into their faces and that one fat pirate did a cannonball that nearly cleared t...
The makers the 'Pirates of the Caribbean' movie series have alleged that Hollywood studios have rejected their proposal to make a new movie based on recent piracy incidents off the Somalian coast to be titled "Pirates of Somalia" According to dire...
The captain of the Somali pirate ship that has taken control of the Saudi supertanker, Sirius, together with its 2million barrels of crude oil, is rumoured to be none other than Heather Mills, the ex-wife of Beatle Sir Paul McCartney. Mills, who t...
Mogadishu, Somalia - Last evening joint British and American naval ships rescued the Saudi oil tanker held by a gang of Somali pirates. The oil tanker had been over taken by pirates off the coast of Africa this week and held for high ransom. The tank...
As long time galleons of the economic high seas have taken on water and are on their way to the bottom of Davy Jones' locker, there is only one sailing vessel still cruising smoothly on the seven seas. The pirate industry of Africa and Asia is the on...
Langley, Va - (AssoCIAted Mess): The President George Herbert Bush Center for Intelligence (sic) CIA sources say that the Somali highjackers of the Sirius Star Saudi oil tanker may have accessed the vessel from a Russian Oscar-II nuclear cruise missi...
Pirates have boarded and seized a boat in the dock harbour in Salford, Greater Manchester. The three pirates, Jezza, MC Dipstick and The Buzzcoq, all from the uptown, downmarket Moss Side suburb of Manchester and heavily armed with knives, guns, t...
Somali pirates, led by Captain Long John O'dinga, have seized a giant Saudi-owned oil tanker in the Indian Ocean and are steering it towards their Eyl port base, according to the latest online Daily Shitraker news reports. The ship's cargo of light c...
A group of drunk students who dressed up as pirates and hijacked an oil tanker off the coast of Somalia are said to be in "big trouble" when they return to lessons. The students from Grimsby University, were celebrating International Pirate Day ab...
Somali Pirates dressed as characters from Pirates of the Caribbean took control of the Sirius Star in the Gulf of Aden. The super tanker visible on Google Earth it is that large had a crew of four who were taken by surprise by the Captain Jack Spa...
Dramatic events today on the river Mersey as a passenger ferry was tracked down and boarded by pirates. Reports tell of how a small craft, piloted by cutthroats and brigands cut off and managed to board the ferry in order to rob passengers. Pol...
MOGADISHU, Somalia - Somali pirates who hijacked the Ukranian cargo ship MV Faina two weeks ago are extremely frustrated that their $20 million ransom demand has not been met. The high seas buccaneers say that they will blow up the MV Faina if th...
United Nations, New York - The UN Security Council today took the unprecedented step of appointing Johnny Depp to lead the fight against the growing threat of pirates off the African coast. With maritime pirate attacks increasing worldwide at an alar...
In an unprecedented act of piracy, the Somali pirates under Captain Abdul Kissamabutt hijacked the GOP yacht, Good Ship Lollipop, and kidnapped Sarah Palin. Governor Palin was on a global good-will tour to reinforce her image as an internationalist...
Now that the Somali pirates have become more and more audacious in their hijacking endeavors, it was only a matter of time before they became the much-sought-after "darlings" of global news media personalities. So far, these pirates have captured ships, tanks, and a gaggle of the latest Jolie-Pitt adoptees. One of the most charismatic and daring of these pirates is Abdul 'The Seahawk' Kissamab...
Indian Ocean - (WTF? Mess): Somali pirates are maintaining a tense stand-off with US whoreships after ramming an Iranian vessel and seizing its cargo of a crashed UFO. The downed craft had been seen menacing the Rev Sun Myung Moon's chopper over T...
The pirates off East African shores have been a constant threat to safety on the high seas. Recently they ship-jack a arms laden boat and fled with the deadly cargo. That is until Navy veteran John McCain found out. Right after abandoning his c...
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