Written by Francine Fishpaw

Thursday, 20 November 2008

image for Rocker David Cook revealed to be Ringleader of Somali Pirates
Saudi Tanker rescued - Ringleader revealed.

Mogadishu, Somalia - Last evening joint British and American naval ships rescued the Saudi oil tanker held by a gang of Somali pirates. The oil tanker had been over taken by pirates off the coast of Africa this week and held for high ransom. The tanker was filled with Saudi oil and valued in the millions. In the last few months several International ships have been taken over and held hostage by the pirates. The pirates have become increasingly aggressive and dangerous.

British naval media official Ian Bonkers told the BBC that the combined British and United States naval fleets boarded the Saudi oil tanker in the late evening and caught the pirates as they were sleeping. No one was harmed in the rescue. But Bonkers revealed a shocking development. It appears the Somali pirates had ties to the United States of America. They were being funded by what appeared to be a ringleader of the pirates who resided in the States. To the gasps of the reporters gathered for the naval briefing the elusive and cunning ringleader of the Somali pirates was revealed to be none other than this years American Idol season seven winner David Cook.

Federal Agents arrested the rocker David Cook in his home in Hollywood California. The agents raided Cook's home this morning after one of the Somali pirates revealed Cook's elaborate pirate schemes to enrich himself and his men.

In appears from reports that David Cook, whose real name is Mustafa Al-Bundi, had set up an elaborate and sophisticated phone bank and computer center in Mogadishu. Then his gang of pirates coerced citizens of the capital of Somalia to call in and register votes for his win on American Idol. To finance this massive call center and his fledging 'rock' singing career, Cook, or Al-Bundi, had to take his pirating skills to the next level and his group became more aggressive. Cook wanted to win Idol to finance his singing career and a massive break in at Fort Knox.

People who knew David Cook at American Idol's 19E studios were caught by surprise at Cooks arrest, but they had seen the signs. Third place winner Syesha Mercado told reporters that Cook would walk around acting like a pirate and saying "Aaaargh". Second place winner David Archuleta remarked that Cook used to tell corny pirate jokes around the Idol studios, but he never put two and two together. "The video of Cook acting like a pirate is all over Youtube" Archuleta remarked, "I am shocked, totally shocked, and to think I would text message Cook almost every week and even add 'haha' to my messages".

It also appears Michael Johns has gone on the lam, he was last seen boarding a Greyhound bus to Mexico. There is no evidence Mr. Johns was involved.

Federal agents are reviewing the video of David Cook acting like a pirate on Youtube. Agent Tyrone Critters of Homeland Security told reporters "The video speaks for itself. He is a pirate alright". We are shipping Mr. Cook, aka Mustafa Al-Bundi, to Quantamo Bay to be further "questioned" on his pirate activities.

In a related story David Cook's album has gone triple platinum today after it was revealed he was arrested for piracy on the high seas.

Also today it was reported that this afternoon Cook's girlfriend, Kimberly Caldwell, is now dating Nick Jonas.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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