In an unprecedented act of piracy, the Somali pirates under Captain Abdul Kissamabutt hijacked the GOP yacht, Good Ship Lollipop, and kidnapped Sarah Palin. Governor Palin was on a global good-will tour to reinforce her image as an internationalist when the piracy occurred.
However, no sooner was the Republican Vice-Presidential candidate kidnapped on the high seas off the East African coast, than that she was immediately released with all hands safe and sound.
Initially, it was thought that the release was related to the massive rescue effort on the part of the Republican Party until it was discovered that its leaders were not inclined to pay one cent for her release. The Democrats, however, were trying to get up enough money to pay for the ransom since someone as vulnerable as she was a rare gift to their White House aspirations.
Nevertheless, the Democrats' money wasn't required since no sooner was Ms. Palin captured than that she was released by Kissamabutt.
According to sources from Britain's SKY news, she was released quickly because Capt. Kissamabutt was tired of all the "You betchas" and "mavericks" that was coloring her speech and obfuscating normal discourse. So, faced with beheading the...lady or releasing her, the pirate chieftain opted for release as an act of terrorism against the American electoral process.