The English FA today announced a multi-million pound investment in a brand new centre of Handshaking as they admitted that English football has fallen behind the world in pre-match handshaking. FA Director of fence sitting, Sir Trevor Fencing CBE...
Manchester United defender Patrice Evra went slightly mad at Old Trafford this afternoon, as referee, Phil Dowd blew for full time, heralding a 2-1 win for United over bitter rivals, Liverpool. Two goals from Wayne Rooney in the space of three min...
Fc Twente's flamboyant Dutch manager Steve McClaren has officially ruled himself out of the newly vacant England managers post. Given that McClaren was never "ever in a million years" (FA chairman David Bernstein) going to be interviewed for the job,...
Bookmakers stopped taking bets today on Harry Redknapp to be the next manager of the England football team when reports of large bets were being placed around the country - including Portsmouth, Bournemouth, London, Leicester and Sheffield. The FA...
Football fans all over England - but mainly in East London, like dahn Bethnal Green, Whitechapel, Plaistow and Bow and that innit - are cock a hoop that, following the departure of the Italian sophisticate, Fabio Capello, it looks highly likely that...
It was revealed by insiders at the FA today that following an inability to win anything for 42 years with the full-time managers they would adopt the successful and well worn television trick of inviting a guest manager for each match. "The guest...
After the sudden resignation of Fabio Capello, the English Football Association are casting the net very wide indeed to search for the next England manager. They have said they would prefer the next coach to be English, but he doesn't necessarily nee...
Fabio Capello has resigned as England manager, the Football Association has confirmed. It is believed that Fabio wants to spend more time with his family. A source told BBC today "Fabio is a pensioner - working two weeks in the summer will be...
Tottenham Hotspur manager Harry Redknapp was cleared of tax evasion by a jury at Southwark Crown Court today. He spoke of his relief at the end of the five-year ordeal concerning an off-shore bank account and accusations of bungs over the sale of...
After Fernando Torres of Chelsea, Andy Carroll bites the biscuit as the second big time loser in the Premier league and slowly Liverpool manager, Kenny Dalglish, is beginning to see what they paid 35 million quid for, a "wimp"! Andy, struggling to...
Liverpool manager Kenny MacGlish today told reporters that the Anfield Cat was not for sale despite big bids from Manchester City, Paris Saint Germain and Chelsea. The cat made a cameo appearance at Anfield last night in the televised match betwe...
Fabio Capello may have breached his 6 squillion lira contract with the Football Association by telling an Italian radio station he has asked the mafia to fix the Euro 2012 tournament so England can win. An FA insider told the spoof sports desk "Th...
Fabio Capello may be in breach of his contract by telling an Italian radio station he was not happy about the FA decision to strip John Terry of the captaincy over his court appearance for alleged racism - but last night at Anfield he may have found...
A top football expert was last night revelling in the aftermath of a heroic performance by Manchester United at Chelsea. "How blooming hilarious was that," laughed EIF News & Features sports editor Thelonious Adidas. He was referring to the...
Notts - "Bwahaha, he was just about to sign another hefty cheque," Ed Miliband sobbed this afternoon on hearing the news that millionaire Labour Party donor Nigel Doughty had died suddenly at home in the gym. The party's deputy treasurer had appa...
Premier League chairman were measuring their linen baskets and coaches looking over their shoulders last night upon the news that 'special one' Jose Mourinho wants to leave Real Madrid and return to the Premier League at the end of the season - but t...
The knighthood of RBS 'banker' Sir Fred Bad-Karma has sensationally moved back to its former home of Buckingtooth Palace. The move came around after a public outcry, namely a Mr Deesgusted from Tunbridge Wells, and the knighthood revealed to it's...
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