Buckingham Palace - (Ecclesiastical Mess): The Archbishop of Canterbury's days may be numbered following the royal upset that his recent televised refusal to convert to Christianity has caused the Puppet Monarch.
Royal Courts of Justice - (Risible Mess): Buggery attempts raged rampant in the Queen's private orifice at Buckingham Palace the coroner was told today at Princess Diana's inquest hearing.
Balmoral Castle, Scotland - (Premonition Mess): The sudden appearance of a 'mystical' and ghostlike white stag in the craggy grounds abutting Balmoral Castle has sent shivers of trepidation among locals who fear it portends imminent doom for...
London - Preposterous Mess): The UK's top royal benefit scounger has managed to blag a £3 million swagbag to shore up a disastrous PR campaign that promoted desperate wannabe somebody Kate Middleton as the next House of Windsor bride.
Buckingham Palace - (Litigious Mess): The Puppet Queen Mum's last will and testicle was secretly sealed on Buckingham Palace orders in 2002 to protect her legacy from crack-dealing creditors according to reports.
Ascot, Berks - (Ass Mess): Royal Ascot racecourse will open its new flagship tattoo parlour later this year at the start of the prestigious annual mid-June five-day meeting.
Buckingham Palace - (Bas Ass Mess): The Queen always knew that Diana's former butler Paul Burrell was a jumped-up nonentity dedicated to carving a stellar career for himself through blackmail and arselicking of stratospheric proportions according...
Rumours filtering out of Buckingham Palace indicate that Prince Harry is about to give up Clubbing and Drinking to please the Queen.
LANGLEY, Virginia -- A classified recording from the National Security Agency (NSA) has recently surfaced. It was made during the May 2007 visit by Queen Elizabeth II and Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh to the United States. It has affectionately been dubbed the "The Liz and Phil" tapes.
Her Majesty the Queen has announced today via her personal secretary that the Crown Jewels have been lost in the post. Her Majesty posted them courier class with a recorded delivery sticker to Camilla, Second in Line to Princess of Wales, as a specia...
Confusion reigned at Buckingham Palace this morning when details of the Queen's New Year's Honours List were mixed up with those of Her Majesty's New Year's Shopping List, resulting i...
Fucking'em PalArse, London - (Arse Over Tit Mess): In a triumph of self re-invention surpassing even the most accomplished Hellfire Club spin doctors the Puppet Monarch released her all-time top PR whoppers this week in a newly launched video ch...
London - (Bad Ass Mess): Top UK archivist and royal hysterian David Sharkey says the Puppet Monarch is an under-educated KGB plant who was fast-tracked onto the Throne by Hellfire Club grandees to stave off Bank of England bankruptcy.
Buckingham Palace - (Bad Ass Mess): A horrid pus-colored bruise that has appeared on the Queen's neck prompting reports that Prince Philip tried to strangle her once again has been dismissed by the Palace.
House of Lords - (Reuterus): A giant rat fifty thousand times more corrupt than Robert Maxwell, Sir Oswald Mosely, Anthony Blunt and Lord Haw-Haw put together has been discovered underneath the cover of aristocratic ermine in the House of Lords.
Fleet Street - (Diabolical Mess): A UK Sunday tabloid has warned its readers to prepare themselves for dire circumstances in the event of the Puppet Monarch's death.
London, England (AR) As Big Ben struck 9 PM on the first night of curfew the streets of London were eerily quiet, but most Londoners were anyway glued to their televisions for Her Royal Highness the Queen's official announcement, the full text of...
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