There's the born again Christian tattooed one, the shit Coronation Street actor one, the dead gay one, and the other one. Then there's the Ronan Keating one. Slightly balding, slightly boring and now slightly bending... perhaps? After 12 years of...
A DJ who made a joke about Queen Elizabeth II popping her clogs is surprised it has attracted so much publicity. Danny Kelly who works for a radio station in the West Midlands is sorry if it offended anyone but is delighted that someone was actually...
A 43 year old civil servant has become the UK's biggest Lottery winner after stepping forward to claim the 84 million pound record prize. Nick Clegg from London didn't even realize he had won the fortune until his wife found the ticket in a pair...
The most hated cloud in Europe has returned to the UK after its holiday in Spain and has decided to challenge Ed and Dave Milliband from the Chemical Brothers for the leadership of the Labour party. Ed and Dave have just finished recording their s...
The man who said he was leaving the BBC to do something else is surprisingly still working for the BBC presenting his chat show on a Friday evening. Jonathan Ross or Paul Ross's brother as he is known to Paul Ross was seen interviewing the fat unf...
Fantastic Thursday night entertainment on TV as Kirsty and Phil present their new property show for hot carpet munchers called Lesbian, Lesbian, Lesbian. A cracking brunette and her equally sexy blond friend go looking for a property in Surrey so...
French footballing legend and current UEFA chief Michel Platini has decided to shave off his invisible moustache after it began stinking of shit at the Europa League final in Hamburg. Platini seemed to be sneering at the Fulham players when he pre...
Chelsea centre forward Didier Drogba is set to open a shop in West London selling his own designer range of baby clothes and toys. The 6 foot 2 inch Ivory Coast international made the decision after Frank Lampard stepped up to take a penalty agai...
A legal team representing Scottish diva Susan Boyle have taken action to stop A Question Of Sport presenter Sue Barker shortening her name to SuBa. SuBo is thought to be unaware of this and would in no way condone this action as she is a huge fan...
There was chaos at the Alternative T20 Cricket World Cup today as the English Transgender Cricket Squad literally started batting for the other team. The England team were due to play Australia in the opening match but the Australians refused to c...
A man from the Netherlands was relieved today after battling for 48 hours to crap out a turd the size of an adult King Penguin. Hans Van Flloyd Hasslebank is renowned throughout Holland for having a back passage big enough to take a Eurostar trai...
One of Britain's finest ever female tennis players and friend of Cliff today learned of the news that she was now the World's oldest woman. Sue Barker celebrated her 114th birthday last month by taking on Andy Murray at Wimbledon's Centre Court an...
The sport where every other player quite happily throws a game for a large pile of cash has been rocked by the news today of an unnamed star admitting to never having taken a bribe throughout his career. The snooker star at the centre of the serio...
The widow of the late Jade Goody was found not guilty in court today of doing anything worthwhile or interesting. Jack Tweed or Jack Shit as he's probably not known to his friends walked free from Snaresbrook Crown Court and was looking forward to...
Residents in a small town in England breathed a huge sigh of relief today as a local paedophile was found after he had gone missing for a week. The inhabitants of Little Commonsense in Essex had become concerned after the resident nonce had not ap...
Organisers of the 29th London Marathon were today busily trying to plan a new route for the world famous run as they were informed of the news that the Tower Bridge had got stuck in an open position. The iconic bridge is one of the main landmarks...
A team of researchers from the University of Chipping Sodbury have today published their findings about how having a low I.Q. means you won't be able to read this article. The boffins admit that if you do have a low I.Q. then you might just about...
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