The sport where every other player quite happily throws a game for a large pile of cash has been rocked by the news today of an unnamed star admitting to never having taken a bribe throughout his career.
The snooker star at the centre of the serious allegation had gone into hiding last night and is set to be suspended until further investigations have taken place.
The incident allegedly happened in the period of his professional career between January 2003 and April 2010. At no point did the player accept any bribes in the form of cash, a moderately priced family 5-door hatchback or property in the South Yorkshire Riviera from tabloid journalists dressed as unconvincing Eastern European businessmen.
Snooker fans are outraged by the allegations and hope the player is banned from the game for life.
'It's a disgrace' said Barry Trout from Kent. 'I've been watching snooker for years and I've seen players missing easy reds against players who can barely hold a cue who then go on to win the game against all the odds. CHEATING BASTARDS.'
'But that's the way it should be. I don't expect a player to be honest and try his hardest to win a tournament without a wad of 50's hanging out of his back pocket. That kind of behaviour is destroying the sport I love.'
Arthur Plank from Dudley added. 'I once saw a match where the current world number 1 player at the time had a six frames to nil lead then went for a break to 'go for a piss'. I phoned up my bookmaker and put my life savings on him to win the match knowing I'd be making easy money.'
'Ten minutes later he comes back to the table. His bowtie is undone, there's white powder under his nostrils and his flies are undone with what appeared to be spunk all down his black trousers.'
'His game literally goes to pot and he doesn't pot another ball for the rest of the match. As his opponent sinks the final black to win the game 7-6 he stands up and shakes the victors hand but he's got a big grin on his face as if he doesn't give a shit.'
'I lost a fortune because he cheated and my wife left me as I couldn't afford to pay the mortgage anymore.'
'I'm homeless, broke and I've only got 6 months to live because of that CHEATING FUCKER. '
'But I wouldn't have it any other way. Imagine if he was a genuine sportsman who didn't take bungs. I'd still be happily married and looking forward to a comfortable retirement. I'd give up watching snooker tomorrow if I knew that kind of player existed in the sport I adore. Although I'm blind now so I can't watch it anymore anyway.'
The news could not have come at a worse time for the snooker authorities as it coincides with the final of the World Snooker Championships Final at the Crucible in Sheffield. Statistics released by the BBC show viewing figures have halved since the 2009 final to 15 people and an incontinent labrador dog.
