Industry spectators are heralding the end of the current economic recession due to a startling discovery made in the vaults of the prestigious Union Bank in Switzerland; namely, bonds, stocks, gold bullion and cash currencies to the value of CHF 6 tr...
Isle of Dogs - An Autumn Equinox cleansing ritual peculiar to the Zimbabwean city of Bulawayo is the latest craze to hit East London. At 7.30pm local African time Barking residents are being asked to flush their bogs in a Mexican Wave reaction of...
Pubs across the UK have already installed disabled toilets to accompany their ladies and gents (or stags and does, bulls and cows or rams and ewes depending on the name of the pub). Many pubs have voluntarily installed baby changing facilities. Now n...
British Prime Minister David Cameron admitted yesterday to accidently leaving the UK Economy "in the shitter" at the weekend. A Downing Street Special Advisory Public Relations Advisor, defended the Prime Ministers' lack of judgement as an act of ex...
The medical genius that recommends breast-feeding until a child reaches puberty, now suggests that kids should be allowed to poop in their pants until high school. Gertrude Smith, M.D. says her firm's patented "Turd-O-Matic "training johns" play a...
Financial industry insiders from a shared mergers and acquisitions cubicles in the sub-let financial offices of the Katz Deli basement, today reported a General Electric leveraged buy out of family owned Phurken Industrial Plumbing Supply. Private...
Ever since NASA raced to put men in the moon, critics have been questioning the need for the space programme. No longer! Space boffins have finally silenced the nay-sayers by using satellite technology to find where penguins go to relieve thems...
Stock prices of Kohler Corporation tumbled today after their public announcement that they would no longer sponsor advertisements during the immensely popular Rush Limbaugh show. Kohler's keen marketing executives said that building pressure from t...
A new study has found that, far from the luxury lifestyle women puport to have, the ladies of today are more than happy to clear away their business with own-brand low-grade toilet roll. Out of all women asked in the survey 3 were happy to tell u...
Financing a public convenience in a picturesque Irish town is causing a bit of a stink on the local council. Some members of Carlow County Council are upset that spending a penny in Bagenalstown is costing the public purse a fortune. Said one c...
The Prime Minister has revealed that anti-terrorism measures at this summer's London Olympic Games will include having CCTV cameras in positions enabling them to look inside the various toilet cubicle facilities within the Olympic Village in East Lon...
Controversial footballer, Mario Balotelli, has been at it again. It appears that he popped into a Manchester sixth form college to use their toilet. Catholic Sixth Form College, The College of the Holy Water, have identified the toilet in question an...
The Dutch always at the forefront of innovation (especially if you enjoy a joint or two) are to introduce "pee bags" and discard tea bags on all of their train services during the winter period. The reason for this very innovative idea is that Dut...
Looking at it objectively, most inventions in the world were created by men. This is not a put down, it is simply the way it is. With one exception, however. That exception is the toilet. The toilet has to have been invented by women. It is simply impossible that a man could have invented it. Men to this day still do not know how to use them properly. They do not seem to know how to flush them.
Long suffering QPR fans are being charged 20p by their billionaire owners to spend a penny in the newly refurbished toilets. Supporters flooded into the ground ahead of the opening Premier League fixture against Bolton yesterday but were shocked t...
Dubai, UAE - Residents of the Oceana billionaire housing complex are sorely pissed as plumbing repairs to their sanitation ground to a halt in the searing 110F tropical heat this week. "The nearest working lavatories are half a mile down the road...
After the news last week that the public lavatory in Shanklin had been left to go feral, it appears that it has formed a pack of feral public toilets roaming the east coast of the Island. According to eye witness accounts, this pack of feral publi...
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