5 out of 7 women use supermarket own brand toilet paper

Written by rajijajuice

Tuesday, 31 January 2012

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A new study has found that, far from the luxury lifestyle women puport to have, the ladies of today are more than happy to clear away their business with own-brand low-grade toilet roll.

Out of all women asked in the survey 3 were happy to tell us that they used Tescos Value loo roll, 1 used Asda Wallmart paper, and 1 used Sainsburys very best 46p per-pack-of-12 toilet roll. Of the remaining women 1 insisted that she had never used toilet paper in her life but instead swore on the benefits of bubble-wrap because "its exciting to hear it pop" and the remaining lady demanded that we got out of her bathroom before she screamed bloody murder and "sliced us up like beef".

These staggering new statistics mean that, if we assume that these figures are representitive of the whole nation - which we will, 71% of the women of this country have bums as rough as the pavement we all walk on, but have more disposable income to spend. Therefore think about this: next time you are trying to chat up a woman insist that she buys you the drink, not the other way around.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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