Kohler Movement Flushes Sales

Funny story written by waterman

Thursday, 29 March 2012

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Stock prices of Kohler Corporation tumbled today after their public announcement that they would no longer sponsor advertisements during the immensely popular Rush Limbaugh show. Kohler's keen marketing executives said that building pressure from the Media Matters anti-Rush campaign moved them to dump Rush, even they knew it would be a painful discharge and would likely flush sales down the crapper.

When questioned about the move on CNBC, Kohler CEO M'Sheetz Uffton said that Limbaugh's conservative-think was not consistent with the public's usual connotations with their toilets and urinals. He went on to say that their ads would be realigned to support HBO's Bill Maher as well as various reporters and commentators on the MSNBC network. He said their tone is much more in tune with the malodorous, unrestrained excretions usually associated with Kohler products.

When asked for a comment on Kohler's decision, the ever-capitalist Limbaugh blithely responded, "Some might think it is offal for me, but I honestly cannot think of a more rational decision on Kohler's part. They have surely dung the right thing from a business perspective. "

In a related story, Congresswoman and former Speaker Nancy Pelosi and Senate leader Harry Reid announced they are asking Energy Secretary Stephen Chu to award a twenty eight million dollar "green business" incentive for Kohler to promote its new "If it's brown (and conservative) flush it down" ad campaign.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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