Cross dressers to get their own toilets in pubs

Funny story written by IainB

Monday, 2 July 2012

image for Cross dressers to get their own toilets in pubs
Working out the combinations for the loo is tricky

Pubs across the UK have already installed disabled toilets to accompany their ladies and gents (or stags and does, bulls and cows or rams and ewes depending on the name of the pub). Many pubs have voluntarily installed baby changing facilities. Now new legislation will insist that they cater for people of dual gender.

"It's difficult for people who are transitioning, or just want to go out for a swift one with their girlfriends," said Miss Missy Mistletoe, a cross dressing spokesperson for TransAm, the American Transgender and Transvestite community. "They have a dichotomy. On the one hand, they might be genetically male, but on the other, the clothes they are wearing look like the picture on the other door. The forbidden door."

According to Mistletoe, the new legislation will see the installation of a toilet with a new picturegram on the door to symbolise cross dressers.

"It's a half man, half woman symbol," said Mistletoe. "Instantly recognisable."

TransAm have condescended to allow disabled toilets dual use, although they would prefer to have their own facilities, as they do not view themselves as disabled.

"It's a bloody liability," said Darren Butchman, landlord of the Carpenter's Biceps in Warrington. "It's getting to the point where we have more bloody lavs than we have seats in the main bar. It's not on I tell you. I heard through the grape vine that they're going to make us put in child sized urinals! I mean, give me a break, we're a pub!"

With only one toilet being made available for cross dressers, some already anticipate problems.

"We need to go to the loo in pairs," said Candy Rapper, a cross dresser from Gloucester. "Not for the company, but for the safety. And we have to leave at least two behind. It's why trannies always go out in groups of four, any other number and the maths gets too hard."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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