Gulf of Mexico - (Extraterrestrial Mess): Chevron Oil's fabled Jack 2 Gulf of Mexico deep water well has uncovered a massive 500+ billion barrel reserve pool of high grade isotopic UFO propulsion fuel. The find, some 35,000 ft below sea level, is...
San Ramon, Ca - (Big Fat Oil Mess): A secret capitalization deal between five highly liquid Arabian-based Sovereign Wealth Funds and the Chevron Corporation has created a vast new global cash-stash to rival the US Treasury's aspirations of becoming A...
Off-the-Wall Street, NYC - (Big Ass Mess): Oil markets are ablaze with persistent reports that Chevron Oil's humongous war chest is about to swallow up Exxon-Mobil, the US No 1 oil company.
San Ramon, California - (Rabid Russian Mess): Russian Prime Minster Vladimir 'Mad Bad Vlad' Putin has planted over 1,000 rent-a-mob mercenaries to disrupt Chevron's annual stockholders' meeting in San Ramon today after a bitter decade...
Off-the-Wall St, NYC - (Iraq War Mess): Big oil giant Chevron has blamed the Bush Administration's Iraq war policy for runaway crude prices, a rock-bottom weak dollar and the spiralling cost of pizza dough.
Wall Street - (Stalinist Mess): Pea-brained Russian midget Mad Bad Vlad 'The Impaler' Putin was unmasked today as the walking trash-heap behind a series of smears against bigoil giant Chevron Corp.
Washington DC - (Prince William Sound Mess): "My clients fear the humiliation of being swallowed up by the mighty Chevron Corp if the $2.5billion Prince William Sound fine goes through," attorneys for Exxon-Mobil moaned at Supreme Court app...
San Ramon, California - (Rioters): Chevron majority stockholders are cock-a-hoop after luring Dickless Cheney's mercenaries into harassing the big oil corporation into a $30 million sting in the oil-for-food kickbacks case.
Wall Street, NYC - "Our profits fell below four billion this quarter," Chevron representative Rick James pleads, "which is the first time we've had a drop in earnings in more than 5 years!" Chevron CEO David O'Reilly took...
County Hall - (Ass Mess): "We are totally and utterly f**ed!" a heavily perspiring Ken Livingstone, Mayor of London, shouted today at Chancellor of the Exchequer Alistair Darling after the Law Lords once again ruled that Chevron Oil has exc...
San Ramon, California - (Ass Mess): Shareholders of US energy giant Chevron Corporation are laughing all the way to the bank amid news that details of some immensely successful lawsuits that saw US Secretary of State thrown off their board are soon t...
California - (Ass Mess): The Chevron oil company's 2001 renaming of The Condoleezza Rice, one of their top double-hulled tankers, as The Altair Voyager may be an even greater embarrassment to Vice President Dick Cheney than previously thought ac...
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