Chevron shareholders laughing all the way to the bank as Condi fumes

Funny story written by queen mudder

Thursday, 12 April 2007

image for Chevron shareholders laughing all the way to the bank as Condi fumes
Fuming: scrubbed as a tanker, Rice is a plonker

San Ramon, California - (Ass Mess): Shareholders of US energy giant Chevron Corporation are laughing all the way to the bank amid news that details of some immensely successful lawsuits that saw US Secretary of State thrown off their board are soon to be published in a satirical pop-up book format.

Rice departed under a cloud in January 2001 after a ten year concerted espionage and harrassment campaign on Chevron stockholders.

And proceeded to implicate the Chevron Corporation in a Nigerian Mobile Police smear started by Paul Wolfowitz, Kofi Annan and Robert Mugabe.

But in what has turned out to be an undercover sting op amalgamating CIA evidence against the Bush Family Evil Empire Rice is now snookered into a hellhole corner of her own duplicitous making.

As Rice took up her National Security Advisor role for the Bush Administration in 2001 private investigators brought in by Chevron immediately secured their damning evidence against former Halliburton CEO Dick Cheney whose company negotiated extensive contract deals with Chevron's Caspian Sea pipeline.

The covert sting also bypassed Justice Department shredding of incriminating Aldrich Ames and Bob Hanssen-related conspiracy cover-up files, which saw Bush's Attorney General Alberto Gonzales strut his confident stuff when firing officials unhappy with Scooter Libby's acts of perjury.

The final icing on the cake came when Chevron wiped the name The Condoleezza Rice from one of their 136,000 vessels and renamed it as the mysteriously enigmatic Altair Voyager.

The wit behind the name?

"No names, no pack drill 'til Gonzales is impeached and Riced in the slammer along with Libby."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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