San Ramon, Ca - (Big Fat Oil Mess): A secret capitalization deal between five highly liquid Arabian-based Sovereign Wealth Funds and the Chevron Corporation has created a vast new global cash-stash to rival the US Treasury's aspirations of becoming America's Official Lender of the last Resort.
At Chevron's Bollinger Canyon Boulevard HQ this week negotiations are at full throttle to snap up rival supermajor companies ExxonMobil and Conoco-Phillips in the current Wall Street fire sale of credit crunch companies.
The resulting hydrocarbons giant will be recapitalised at $3 trillion, of which $2 trillion will be a in the form of a cash injection from Sovereign Wealth shareholders who already hold 55% of the three big oil corps' stock.
Brent Crude, energy correspondent of BigOilShagger! magazine said today the move would "scare Obama's campaign managers shitless" and prevent the imminent collapse of NYSE institutions that are experiencing financial meltdown.
"Who needs to fellate the Bush Administration for $700 billion of taxpayers' money when this new Chevron babe will effectively call all US banks' debt shots for the foreseeable future?" Crude commented.
Chevron's Wall Street partner is Bank of America, a major deposit-taker of the same Sovereign Wealth Funds that are bankrolling the oil deal.
The bank recently acquired investment bankers Merill Lynch for the knockdown bargain basement sum of $50 billion.
Hank Paulson is shitting bricks.
