A new panademic? After Bird Flu and Swine Flu outbreaks across the world, a new flu has been discovered in the UK - Furby Flu. The first case of this flu was found in the southern island of the Isles of Scilly where the first human had contracted...
Emerging out of North America this week, is a terrible new form of flu that has struck fear into the hearts of lexicographers everywhere. Beautiflu is a mutated form of the word Beautiful, and has been spotted as a misspelling on thousands of webs...
KAMATIVI, Zimbabwe - It is now official The Swine Flu, aka The N1H1 Flu, alias The Fufu Flu, also referred to as The Cuckoo's Nest Flu One has now been found in the south African country of Zimbabwe. Dr. Foombuffa Gamashonra director of The Zimbab...
PORTLAND, Oregon - Reports coming out of northern Oregon state that several employees with the Ashburn and Greta Dalrymple Lumberjack Company have come down with a case that local doctors are calling Pine Flu. Slayter Hiddenlake supervisor with th...
Labour government millionaires had to abandon a day's expenses fiddling this afternoon, as a devastating strain of 'flu 'flu broke out in the Dorset village of Lower Henchcoat. Mrs. Agnes Z. Papier-Mache, 87, was the first to go under with the vi...
After months of government scaremongering, and using the outbreak of a distant relation of the common cold to blank out bad news about failing banks and Labour MPs being thieves, it was finally admitted that the pandemic they'd tried to make people g...
Dyslexics were on alert worldwide after discovering that the swine flu virus had mutated through spelling to a deadly variant muscular disease, sinew flu. In a statement, the Dyslexic World Health Organisation (HOW) said: "Now that this disease ca...
Top muslims have contacted the government today with fears for their safety. Speaking from a gold encrusted temple somewhere in Bradford, Top man Abby Dabby Doodar stated the current epidemic was worrying for all of the British muslims. "We killed...
Doctors today injected Gordon Brown with a dose of the swine 'flu virus, in an attempt to save the beleaguered Labour leader's career. Speaking from Downing Street, the Prime Minister said: 'Banking crises, mortgage problems, job redundancies, con...
Pigs and general swine (not General Swine - he was the one who defeated the Aztecs in Venezuela during World war Two) have been put on full alert as a form of Human Flu sweeps through farmyards, abattoirs and bacon-curing plants in Mexico. The min...
A laboratory in Switzerland where stocks of the Swine Flu antiviral drug are produced, is shut tonight after it emerged that staff there have demanded a 3,000% pay rise. The lab closed down at 3pm today when 15 workers, mainly unskilled peons who...
To Old Macdonald's Farm where a recent outbreak of illness appears to be bucking the media feeding frenzy thats got us all feeling "pigsick". In a bizarre twist in the tail,the crashing boars at "Old Browns Farm" all seem to have contracted what can...
As the entire world waits in dread anticipation of that first tell-tale sneeze, withering under the threat of a global pandemic which could see off millions, it's comforting to know that governments the world over are pitching in to do their bit to s...
SAN DIEGO, California - Zoo officials have just announced that when zoo workers were feeding the zoo's swan population this morning they happened to notice that a lot of the swans were acting strange. It seems that the swans were sitting in the c...
Medical experts are flabbergasted that a new strain of flu virus has suddenly appeared in London. Authorities have isolated a young Canadian man with long sideboards and equally bizarre fingernails who appears to suffer from what physicians are calli...
ROME - Italian authorities have just reported a national outbreak of Wine Flu. They say that it is the first such outbreak since the dreaded Perry Como Wine Flu Epidemic of 1989. Noted Italian Wine Flu Expert Giardino Tortellini stated that the ea...
New York, The World - What are the facts of a flu pandemic? That is the question so many of our viewers write in and ask us, every time a new one hits the shelves. What exactly is a flu pandemic? A flu pandemic is a panda bear with a nasty cold or a bout of influenza. It is so called "Pandemic" because it is widespread like an epidemic and it only hits Pandas. Who can get this Pandemic...
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