Pig Flu - The Global Response

Written by Skoob1999

Thursday, 30 April 2009

image for Pig Flu - The Global Response
The Calm Before The Storm?

As the entire world waits in dread anticipation of that first tell-tale sneeze, withering under the threat of a global pandemic which could see off millions, it's comforting to know that governments the world over are pitching in to do their bit to see off this potentially deadly scourge.

Egypt has ordered the slaughter of its entire pig population of 300,004 immediately. Although what a strict Muslim nation is doing with so many pigs in the first place remains a mystery.

In Lebanon, people have been advised by the Ministry of Health to avoid social kissing.

India has set up a toll free call centre, but callers have complained they they find the accents impenetrable and the advice given, as nonsensical.

France, in the way that they do, has called for a blanket ban on everything and everyone that isn't French.

The US has called for anybody with a gun to report to the Mexican border to repel illegal aliens.

The UK has promised a parliamentary inquiry, whose findings are expected to be published in 2017 - if there's anybody left alive by then.

Spanish authorities said that they'd assess the situation 'sometime' and Germany appears to be gearing up for war again.

What happens next is anybody's guess.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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