The Large Hadron Collider, located in Switzerland, has achieved a notoriety it would never have been previously dreamed possible: as a sex symbol. Hundreds of females who have visited the web site have emailed the CERN corporation who manage the...
Scientists in Cern (Switzerland) have said that the Large Hadron Collider - LHC for short - may take at least 6 months to repair after it blew a gasket in October. However they are fully committed to restarting the experiments, which are hoped to re...
Washington, D.C. - Under the cover story of having to shutdown the LHC experiment early at CERN for repairs, the GOP has been secretly conducting a little experiment of its own. Disguised as the facility's janitorial crew, mopping up floors, chan...
Washington, D.C. - After the rank and file of the Republican and Democrat parties sobered up refusing to pass the three and a half page ultimatum, tantamount to emptying 700 billion dollars out of the pockets of Americans and placing U.S. Treasury Se...
The Large Hadron Collider experiment was put on hold for a few months after scientists at CERN were forced to switch off the device. Top UK scientist Professor Hugh Jarse was on hand to explain. "It is quite straight forward actually. We are no...
Earlier this month the scientific world's bespectacled anorak gang, aka the Mensa Morons, with more degrees than a thermometer and less common sense that a business of lemmings, posed, quaffing firkins of champagne and grinning like Cheshire cats.
GENEVA (FMLiveWire) -- The world's newest and biggest particle accelerator the Large Hadron Collider was wrecked by a miniature black hole it created and will not begin operations again until April, officials at CERN revealed this week. The machin...
Geneva: The Big Bang machine stopped working today after it developed the Blue Screen of Death. Said Cerns director Professor Wolfgang "Yes we can confirm the Hadron Collider stopped today due to the blue screen of death, a common fault in windows...
Scientist today reveal the full success story of the LHC as they switch it off for a few months to cool down, the European Organization for Nuclear Research (Cern) says. A spokesperson said it simply fantastic, "We knew at the outset that just col...
NewsDesk Geneva, Switzerland: A group of young scientists from CERN were arrested last night while partying at a popular nightspot for scientists in Geneva. Reports coming in state young revellers in the Quantum Pub were arrested while stripping...
European bankers have now admitted that they rigged the results of the Large Hadron Collider - which runs beneath Switzerland, Germany and France - in order to create an implosion in the American financial system. "We were really upset that Credit...
Popular children's television programme Blue Peter revealed today that they will be making a LHC using a variety of items found in the typical home. "We are hoping to make science more approachable for today's youngsters," said new series producer...
Silicon Valley, California - Steve Jobs unveiled the latest Apple iNnovation today: iLHC pocketsize personal particle accelerators for mad CERN physicists on the go, all in celebratory observance of the Big Bang experiment that has not yet ended exis...
Hadron Switzerland - A spate of traffic accidents in Hadron has been linked to a single reckless driver whose identity is unknown. Accidents have all taken place on the ring road around the town which is 27 kilometres in circumference and straddles t...
Professor Hugh Jarse could hardly contain himself today when he revealed the surprising results from the LHC test firing on Wednesday. "We have discovered quite by accident that a portal in the space time continuum that was created by the experime...
Athens, Greece - Apparently angry that man has mastered fire to the point of recreating the Big Bang, Prometheus, known as the father of mankind in Greek mythology for giving man the gift of fire, ordered a crew of Greek computer hackers to break int...
Cambridge, Massachusetts - Like Yogi Berra once said, "It's Déjà vu all over again." If you woke up this morning with a sinking feeling deep down in your gut that everything you have done today seems strangely familiar, like you have already done it...
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