Super Collider Menace to Swiss Traffic

Written by victor nicholas

Sunday, 14 September 2008

image for Super Collider Menace to Swiss Traffic
The Super Collider Accellerates on the Ring Road

Hadron Switzerland - A spate of traffic accidents in Hadron has been linked to a single reckless driver whose identity is unknown. Accidents have all taken place on the ring road around the town which is 27 kilometres in circumference and straddles the French and Swiss borders.

The driver is reported to accelerate to the speed of light on the ring road and then suddenly veer off into oncoming traffic causing collisions with opposing vehicles and a BIG BANG with energy levels seven times higher than recorded by the Fermilab near Chicago.

Physicists have been brought in to investigate the phenomenon. Besides large debris from the impacts such as tires, bumpers and fenders the crashes may prove to produce some startling findings.

High energy particles ejected could prove evidence of extra dimensions, a boon for superstring theory, which holds that quarks, the particles that make up atoms, are the root cause of European driving habits.

How the driver manages to create such devastating collisions and survive to threaten local highways is an unanswered question.

Gunther Schmidt, a witness to one of the crashes says it is a miracle that the rogue driver has managed to survive."Yah, he is not just a collider, he is a super collider."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more