The BNP are now going out of their way to welcome all races to their party. They no longer recognise the term 'black board' instead calling it a dark grey chalk highlighter and it doesn't stop there. Partial to a little Peking Duck and Flied Lice? We...
David 'Dave' Cameron has declared his intention to merge his party with the BNP before the next election. "I want to end the white male dominated political scene. The BNP has led the way in encouraging ethnic minorities to join the political elite. W...
It was with much delight and gusto that Ron Nasty, HR Director for The BNP revealed Mr.Robert Mugabe as the surprise recipient of The coveted position of "Lifetime Honorary Chairman". We thought that our old mucker "Bob" would be interested in the...
The Taliban have been sending fax messages, emails and making phone calls to Nick Griffin of the BNP asking for help to get rid of all the immigrants that have invaded Afghanistan because the hills are alive with the sound of gunfire. Nick Griffin...
The British National Party have been warned that they will probably have to change their name at some time in the future to The English National Party because if the Scottish National Party get enough votes they will declare independence for Scotland...
Following the announcement yesterday from an Essex pub that from now on, non-white citizens would have the right to join the BNP as full members, security staff on the pub door told us that they expected a scramble from ethnic minorities for applicat...
The BNP today elected a new leader. Following the changes made to their membership Nick Griffin has been defeated in a secret ballot. The new leader, a Mr Nelson Mandela, is expected to make some policy changes. Griffin, a one time stunt double fo...
Nick Griffin leader of the BNP has announced a change in policy after hearing a recent news broadcast about Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi. Griffin now agrees that the only immigrants that should be allowed into the country should be pre...
Still reeling from the outrage caused by Doctor Who confessing to being 'anti-ginger', things seem to have gotten worse for the two-hearted Time Lord. In a shock discovery made by this journalist, the Doctor's new assistant is none other than Nick...
You would be forgiven for thinking that the smooth relaxing sounds of reggae and the BNP are not a mix but you would be wrong apparently. BNP leader Nick Griffin was spotted yesterday evening in a prominent London reggae club. According to eye wi...
At a news conference held at BNP head quarters-the 17th century- BNP leader Nick Griffin announced his parties plans to deport the Doctor if elected. The Doctor who is currently leading the UK opinion polls is originally from the planet Galiffrey whi...
A small section of the M25 motorway was closed today due to a hazardous spill. The tarmac from juction 15 to junction 16 was covered in fecal matter when Nick Griffin unexpectedly started talking shit. He was travelling to a function in London...
Leader of lunacy, Nick Griffin, is to undergo facial correction surgery to level up the subsidance in his face. The BNP leader has been looking more and more like he's suffering from a stroke, as his face plummets on one side. LSC, the London S...
Asian Tariq Phalid was yesterday cleared of shouting racial abuse at plump BNP leader Nick Griffin. Mr Phalid, speaking through an interpreter told reporters that he had not abused Mr Griffin, but had actually shouted, 'Get all these bloody spongi...
"Mark my words, there will be blood in the streets. " This was the chilling prediction voiced by shamed right wing activist Enoch Bowells, as it was announced that a mass march by three million Muslim fundamentalists would take place in the small...
'Firstly, boys and girls, you must have a white skin, so things get a bit complicated already. Because millions of Britons including me are Celtic people, people who are or whose ancestors were Scottish, Welsh or Northern Irish. And are very dark-looking people, because the Celts originally came from the Middle East. OK, let's just forget that little snag, ahem. Secondly, you must have a Britis...
'Big Brother is essentially repetitive, voyeuristic nonsense. The public is fed up with nobodies lounging around and moaning every time they have to dress up as a shrimp or a matador to do a task. Next year, if I'm successful, Britain will finally se...
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