A press conference was hastily called this morning by Samurai Sports to announce the newest line of golf clubs; just in time for Christmas Day delivery. Addressing a speechless and bedraggled muckraking cohort of reporters, Hiroshima Andrews, V.P...
New Spoof writer, 'Lucky Donkey', a new writer for a spoof site has disappeared somewhere in Sweden after heading there to find what is going on with golf great, Tiger Woods. Lucky had told some of his fellow writers that he wanted to get off to...
Newcomer Eldrick Tont has signed a lucrative 5 year contract with the burgeoning China Golf Association, also becoming its spokesman for strengthening golf programs and the CGA brand across China and the Asia Pacific region. Far removed from PGA e...
Santa Monica Lewinsky, California - (Reuterus): A sordid Hellfire Club cover-up involving Bill Clinton and a Bajan/Dominican BBC newsreader is still whitewashing Tiger Woods' DNA. According to documents released under the UK's Freedom of Disinfor...
ORLANDO, Florida - A major sponsor for Tiger Woods sent him a "Dear John" e-mail Sunday to "clear the air" and let the beleaguered golf star know they "have been working with a new spokesman" in the wake of a recent shit storm of controversy swirling...
ORLANDO - Elin Nordegren, aka Mrs. Tiger Woods, has made it crystal clear to "Tiggy" that she will stick around and celebrate Christmas with him for the sake of the kids, but on December 26, it's adios mother effer and her and the two kiddoes are bou...
New York - (Reuterus): The stunning Sicilian Playtoy centerfold and Tiger Woods' favorite ho revealed the secrets behind her devastating allure today. "Buttock implants. Lashings of lipgloss. Anal nitrate and a damn good hosedown!" The 21 yea...
Orlando, Fla - (Reuterus): "Someone sent Elin ultrasound pics Thanksgiving weekend," Las Vegas club manager Kalika Moquin confided today. "Anonymous, likely some trashy pancake house ho. "Totally freaked out Elin, badly sourin her still lactat...
New York - (Crooked Ass): Eliot Spitzer's former golf caddie reckons Tiger Woods was caught in an FBI vice sting just like the ex-New York Governor. "Someone with balls? Feds musta planted a tracking device in one of his drivers," Ron Birdie expl...
Officials huddled behind closed doors over the weekend to discuss the economic impact of the latest Tiger Woods decision to 'pull out' and 'lay up' in order to let the furor of his sexual romps cool down. The first casualty appears to be the highl...
WATTS, California - Rap singer Snoop Dogg was in Watts recording his next single at the Yo Bro Recording Studio when he was asked by a reporter for Hey Watts Up Bitch Magazine for his comments on Tiger Woods' "Golf Gate" mess. Snoop Dog rattled th...
US President Barack Obama has dispatched the team seeking Osama bin Laden to search for Tiger Woods. 'Osama's been gone so long that we're out of clues, and the team has just been sitting around watching cable television for the last 18 months', O...
It was announced today that international beard whacker Gillete is cutting Tiger Woods from its propaganda campaigns and US based television advertisements. This, according to a spokeswoman for the razor company. Purportedly, this is to accommodate T...
ORLANDO - It appears that charter members of The Tiger Woods "Scorecard Club" continue to come out of the woods, the woodwork, and the woodshed. Tiger Woods personal manager and spokesperson Upton Courtquist has reportedly lost his voice from the...
Orlando, Fla - (Gonads): "Elin's hired a sniffer dog hitsquad! She's strip searching the boat for stowaway hookers!" Tiger Woods complained on his cellphone today. The golfing champ's website had just announced that Woods was giving up sex for th...
Hollywood, Los Angeles: Tyler Knight will be starring as Tiger the golfer, and Kayden Kross will be starring as Woods' wife, Elin Nordegren, in this big movie to be financed by Tiger's major sponsors. With the multiple extramarital affairs, with...
The Cycle's Electronic Entertainment Correspondent Arbuthnot Flange-Plate reports: A sudden upswing in teenage violence has led to rabid calls for the banning of violent video games. Sir Waldorf Qum-Buquet Liberal Peer for spoiling peoples' fun...
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