Orlando, Fla - (Gonads): "Elin's hired a sniffer dog hitsquad! She's strip searching the boat for stowaway hookers!" Tiger Woods complained on his cellphone today.
The golfing champ's website had just announced that Woods was giving up sex for the forseeable future "to spend mpore time with my wife and family."
An out-of-the-blue call from old mucker Prince Jefri Archer saw him snap up a generous offer to borrow the Brunei princeling's eponymous 'Tits' ocean going yacht.
"Hell, Elin somehow got the idea it's a floating gin palace used for orgies," Tiger confided in LA madam Michelle Braun.
"Can't imagine why."
A hasty refit soon removed the yacht's fur-lined S&M dungeon, a rubber fetishists' therapy salon, several truckloads of sex toys and a signed nude portrait of the Bush Twins.
The $200 million vessel was last seen heading towards a Caribbean hideyhole where Woods hopes he can figure some more ways to blag his way out of trouble.
Loredana Jolie is 36-24-34.
