In a stunning announcement this morning, Paul, the Physic Octopus, has picked Sarah Palin to win the US presidency in 2012. With almost a perfect record in predicting World Cup soccer games, the famous Octopus has given new life to Republican hopes f...
As LeBron James explained to the world this past week ,"It's all just about business," thousands of Clevelanders rushed to the tanker trucks filled with Kool-Aide to end it all. Fans flocked to the streets renting their garments and tearing at their...
Alan Greene kicked off his campaign against Republican Senator Jim DeMint yesterday by announcing a jobs program. He is proposing Bubble Head Dolls of himself and says that it will put hundreds of people to work. Although described as "off beat"...
Fish & Wildlife crews armed with Dove Soap failed this weekend to clean the Governors of Mississippi and Louisiana. "I'd rather do twenty pelicans or twelve sharks," said a wildlife worker. "Governor Barbour is so soaked inside and out, it took a...
US Congressman and Senators streamed toward the exits today as tens of thousand of the unemployed faced the future without funds of any kind. The limos waited at the exits and private jets waited at the airport tarmacs to wing the legislators to thei...
It was the end of the day in the Senate confirmation hearings for Elena Kagan's nomination to the Supreme Court. As expected, the Republican members of the committee had been rude, insulting, and sarcastic. As the members of the committee were pa...
The news came suddenly and without warning. The US, Osama Bin Laden, and leaders of the Taliban have reached a peace accord. The war is over! The stock market soared, General Motors called back 7,000 workers, and contractors all over America geare...
In a 5-4 decision, the Supreme Court ruled this week that Right to Life ends at birth. The ruling was part of the decision to allow all citizens of the United States to have and to carry weapons. Justice Anthony Scalia speaking for the majority s...
Onlookers report that no one knew who the mystery guest was when the helicopter arrived at Tony Hayward's yacht off the coast of the Isle of Wight. Many looked on in disbelief as General Stanley McChrystal dressed in battle fatigues stepped off the c...
It might have gone unnoticed, had not a local reporter gone to the commissary at Walter Reed Hospital this afternoon. He quickly phoned his editor to report that he had seen General Stanley McChrystal bagging groceries and asking customers if they wa...
As Tony Hayward vacationed off the Isle of Wight over the weekend, reports from the area state that a helicopter appeared over his yacht and dropped a package. When crewmembers opened it, they found a fiddle and a note from the Nero Society of Ro...
"This is torture," cried out Dick Cheney on Fox News last night. "I never thought I would see the day when Americans would torture another human being. I am shocked, shocked, shocked!" In a separate press release issued late last night, Liz Cheney st...
The reports were few as to the details of the Obama/BP meeting yesterday. The closed door meeting was attended by only a few, but one attendee speaking on condition of anonymity did leak some details to Dylan Ratigan of MSNBC. Evidentially, accord...
As news of the billions of dollars in mineral deposits in Afghanistan surfaced today, reporters rushed to The White House to get the President's reaction. "Really?," said President Obama. At the same time as the reporters in DC were questioning th...
In a study released today, the Center For Mental and Physical Health, in Rochester, Minnesota, has announced a study showing that the worst four words that a man can hear in his entire life are, "Is it in yet?" The study used a set of four words...
Just past midnight on Tuesday, May 7, TV Stations, newspapers, and anyone with an email address received a message that purported to be from Saint Peter. As newsmen tried to disprove the authenticity of the message, there seemed to be no other answer...
At Tony Hayward's press conference this morning, no one expected what they were about to hear. Mr. Hayward opened the session by quoting from the Robert Browning poem, "Grow old with me, the best is yet to be." As reporters looked at each other...
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