As Tony Hayward vacationed off the Isle of Wight over the weekend, reports from the area state that a helicopter appeared over his yacht and dropped a package.
When crewmembers opened it, they found a fiddle and a note from the Nero Society of Rome. A note said, "Tony, this is with our best wishes from all of us at the Society. It is a loan, but feel free to fiddle to your heart's content. Nero would be proud!"
A crew member speaking on condition of anonymity, has told the Guardian that Hayward, far from being upset, picked up the fiddle, downed a tankard of rum,jumped up on a railing, and started to fiddle like Charlie Daniels. According to the source, Hayward then grabbed an invited guest, Congresswoman Michele Bachmann of the US, threw her to the deck and ravaged her.
As the stunned crew looked on, he shouted out:
"Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle,
The cow jumped over the moon,
The little dog laughed to see such sport,
And the Brit has his way with the loon."
As crew members rushed to aid the gasping Ms. Bachmann and a laughing Hayward staggered to his cabin, onlookers report that Ms. Bachmann grinned, murmured something about the "re-distribution of wealth" and started singing, "Britannia Rules the Waves."
