BRITISH kids are set to live in a big shit heap forever thanks to the EU, and they could face EU fines of up to £999 billion a year as a result, MPs warned today.
It's not often that the news can report on a genuinely uplifting story but this is one of those occasions.
Rapper Kanye West took his love of chocolate poo to new heights when he became the new face of Hershey's Doo-Doo range of chocolate treats.
Coffee made from cat droppings has become an instant hit in Indonesia.
LONDON (Defecated News) - Oysters, champagne, a bit of massage, foreplay and fisting. These are the common ways gay and straight couples keep their love life alive. But now a fetish that has been tabboo for centuries is becoming a mainstream activity...
PARIS - Judges filed preliminary charges Friday against former Prime Minister Dominique de Villepin for his suspected role in smearing shit on Nicolas Sarkozy before he became France's president, an attorney said.
Washington, D.C. - After a month-long nationwide search involving the FBI, CIA, NSA, Homeland Security and local law enforcement agencies, the bird who attacked President Bush with a stealth shit bomb has been apprehended.
Cheyenne, Wyoming (The Herald) - Turd Ferguson, a retired Wyoming rancher, has won the 2007 Nobel Prize in Chemistry for demonstrating that shit and shinola are actually one-and-the-same.
LOS ANGELES - After a surprise weekend ruling against Floyd Landis on charges that he cheated during last year's Tour de Franz, the professional cyclist appealed to the next higher court yesterday.
Socialite and TV star, Paris Hilton, has admitted that she is terrified of going to the bathroom whilst in prison. The teary-eyed society girl said that in normal circumstances she "has a woman in" to do "all that nasty business"...
MUMBAI - South Park creative geniuses Trey Parker and Matt Stone traveled to India recently to get colonics as they do each year at this time.
Controversial modern artist Damien Hirst has revealed his latest creation to the world.
CCN (Crazy Cal News) - Mass, U.S. - Holy Fishguts Batman! A Fish franchise fed four frightened fellows to it's fishery Friday. Finally feeling them fighting for freedom, the four fellows were fished out of the fiasco.
Honolulu - Scientists at the Southern Hawaii Institute of Technology have concluded that a critical mass in sociological history has been reached. Worldwide, for the first time in recorded history, a majority of people are full of it.
Since Dr. Gillian McKeith's posh Kensington address was inadvertently made visible to millions of viewers 4 min 46 seconds into episode 3 of her hit show, You Are What You Eat, the self-styled 'doctor pooh...
Barking mad, You Are What You Eat, game show host, infamous for sniffing and prodding her hapless contestant's pooh, is herself a convicted pooh eater. Private medical records presented...
In London, further incidents of Happy Scatting have been reported to the police today by both victims and witnesses of this disturbing new craze.
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