Written by Jesus Budda

Saturday, 1 September 2007

image for Man who shits from his nose set to wed
Wait...here comes another story...

It's not often that the news can report on a genuinely uplifting story but this is one of those occasions.

Dave Woozey, Columbus Oh,suffered a tragic childhood.
His father was kidnapped by mice, his mother ran away with Ugandan dictator Idi Amin. All this and the fact that Dave was born with rare disease nasal defecatitis. In short Dave sh*ts through his nose.

As a teenager Dave struggeld to make friends and suffered name calling and abuse.

"My teacher's used to call me Dave shit nose", cried Dave, "even though it was true, it still hurt me deep inside".

Now 32 years of age and employed as a stockbroker, Dave is due to get married to a woman he met in a public toilet.

"One day I had a cold and I was was standing in the bus station", said Dave, "I rushed to the toilets but realised I was in the ladies toilets.Well you can imagine my embarressment. And it was at that moment the woman of my dreams stepped into my life".

That woman was Barbara Shire, a blind, deaf, mute, paraplegic, mental patient.

"We fell in love", said a delighted Dave, "and even though she can't speak, hear, touch or feel, I know she accepts me for who I am".

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Marriage, Poo, Nose




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