Cairo Egypt: An archeological expedition to Egypt's Valley of the Kings has reported finding a strange inscription inside the innermost burial chamber of a 3500 year old Pyramid. The inscription @*$! #%* was written on a wall. Dr. Jones the head...
Nueces County, Texas: An NIH funded study conducted by the University of Michigan in Ann Arbor correlated the number of stroke victims with their proximity to fast food restaurants. A spokeswoman for the National Restaurant Association said "this...
Gaza City: Israeli forces discovered a large underground Marijuana farm located inside Gaza City during their short visit. As Iranian rockets were being smuggled into Gaza through Hamas built tunnels, boxes of little green Marijuana cigarettes were b...
Podunk USA: The Bank of Upper Podunk (BUP) has issued a letter to its millions of customers, investors and shareholders around the world. BUP wants its clients to have confidence and be assured that there are "no problems" with their corporate bankin...
Hong Kong China: The "Great Wall" Street Journal is reporting that China's stock market the Hang Seng is at an all time high, while the US NYSE is at 2000 and continues to fall. The editorial page writer Master K'ung (Confucius) pondered the eight...
Washington DC: President Obama has appointed a Watchdog Panel to oversee the restructuring of the two automobile manufacturing giants GM and Chrysler. This automotive Watchdog committee will be headed by McGruff, and include Barney (bipartisan mem...
Washington DC: The first synod of the "Partnership for Metaphysical Socialism (PMS)" convened here today to establish the tenets of their hegemony. PMS would like to become the spiritual advisor to all future presidents. The sacred writings, cir...
Washington DC: The National Institutes of Health (NIH) released new findings relative to DNA research being conducted at their laboratory facilities. The DNA replication sequence has been further decoded, providing some very startling results. Sam...
Washington DC: People for Ethical Treatment of Idiots (PETI) staged a protest outside the White House and on Capitol Hill. PETI's membership roles also include morons and fools. A PETI founder, Britney Dumbbunny, said "the organization was formed...
Washington DC: Dr. Kartoffel Kopf, a visiting professor from the Dusseldorf School of Linguistics, has been lecturing here in the USA about how great leaders communicate. He has postulated an analytical model to measure the information contained in a...
Washington DC: An emergency session of the 2009 State Governors Conference was held here. The 50 state governors agreed to each issue Gubernatorial Executive Orders that would bail out their state's ailing economy. The 50 state governors and all...
An open letter to my Grandson: Dear Grandson, now that you are an older person and a lot wiser, your Grandfather has something to tell you about that gray haired Grandmotherly lady feeding you strained prunes. Do not believe her outwardly gentle appearance, as she is actually a sadomasochistic person who has inflicted cruel and unusual punishment on her own children. It is still going on to t...
Washington DC: Lawyers from the US Justice Department and Mr. Madoff's lawyers have reached an agreement as to the punishment for his outrageous long running Wall Street financial Ponzi scheme. Mr. Madoff is to cede all his family's liquid assets,...
Washington DC: At the conclusion of a three day session of the North American Psychiatric Aliiance (NAPA) a joint communiqué of scholarly findings was released. Consensus was reached by the NAPA members that liberalism is a mental condition. The...
Washington DC: President Barack Obama met today, in the Oval office, with Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner. The meeting was private, but White House staffers leaked that the president was concerned with the size of the government expenditures curr...
New York NY: New York newspapers have gotten hold of a copy of an invitation sent to Madoff family members and other guests about their annual Valentines Day formal dinner party. Attached to the invitation was the following letter. This past year...
London UK: In a quiet ceremony the Queen bestowed a Knighthood on Philbert of Macadamia. This Knighthood entitles him to all the lands and properties of his forebears. Following a small dinner party with the Royal Family, Sir Philbert retired to his...
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