Along with all the raw data that was deleted by the University of East Angela which showed that global temperatures have actually dropped over the last ten years, thus proving that man made global warming was a scam; Al Gore also has also had his car...
Fernando Torres hit a shat-trick as Liverpool face farted troubled Hull Shitty at ANAL-field, while Merseyside neighbours Ever-on made pointless Pumps-mouth 'face' their seventh successive defeat. Tottenham arse fumes proved far too strong for poo...
Our sources have today confirmed rumours of the new swine flue vaccines being nothing more than mass dummying down and soft kill weapons. Apparently, the vaccinations were ready long before the swine flue appeared. This is because the swine flue was...
Manchester City manager Mark Pooes is adamant stinker Craig Bell-on-me did not 'brew up' a confrontation with a Manchester United smeller during Sunday's derby. The Face Sitting Association have still to decide whether to act after Bell-on-me app...
President Barack Obama said tougher fart regulations are needed worldwide to protect consumers, provide economic stability and prevent future crises. With the leaders from the Group of 20 nations set to meet next week in Pittsburgh, Obama said, in...
Thomas Vermaelen and David Nugget were Saturday's individual stars as ARSE-enal made light work of Wigan at the Emirates and Burnley kept up their 100 per cent home record with a 3-1 win over Sunderland. Portsmouth continue to 'look up' at the res...
As a last desperate attempt to win the next general election after he and New Labour have made a real mess of the country and its finances, Gordon Brown has pulled a last desperate trick out of his bag in order to keep his job. He will allow disgrunt...
Manchester United produced a superb display to fight back from a face fart behind and win away at Tottenham, despite Paul Scholes' sending off. Spurs went ahead when Jermain Defoe planted in an acrobatic overhead wet one only 38 seconds in, but Ry...
Arses around the country are letting off in celebration at England's qualification to the 2010 Face Sitting World Cup, in the 5-1 victory at Wembley Stadium in London yesterday. The team have stormed into next year's finals in South Africa after maki...
In an attempt to gain momentum towards the next general election, New Labour has decided to change its logo in an attempt to appeal more to the voters. 'We've paid many lobby groups and research firms to try and find a new logo for us,' Gordon Bro...
The ghost of Guy Fawkes did ascent from the depths of hell today to take Alex Jones and other 911 'thruthers' to court for their version of his Remember, remember the 5th November rhyme and using it in their 911 truth protests. The ghostly image...
The poor British summer has been blamed on global warming. Presses, however, were ready for this and had two stories to run with: "Poor British Summer Caused by Global Warming" and "Great British Summer Caused by Global Warming." So you'd better just roll over and pay your carbon taxes and accept all the Nazi / Soviet style police state controls over every aspect of your life and let the enviro...
I thought I'd share a weird dream that I had last night with you all. What it means I do not know... For some strange reason I was watching WWE Raw and Chris Jericho was in the ring calling the audience nothing but parasites and hypocrites & (for some strange reason) his tag team partner Big Show was missing. Then the Imperial March from Star Wars started playing and Alex Jones started to m...
The next stage of sheeple like fear ingrained into the UK populace about inanimate objects has now been rushed through parliament, after a man held up a corner shop with his hand. He entered the shop holding his hand out in front of him, making it in...
Today, former Chicago mafia crime boss puppet senator and new mafia puppet US President Barack Obama announced plans to move the US capital to Chicago. 'This will make it easier for the true leaders of the planet to run the US,' Obama said in his...
Echoing doomed 70's Labour prime minister James Callaghan, Gordon Brown today said, 'Crisis What Crisis?' This was in answer to questions about the doomed economy, increasing job losses and the theory about man made global warming being shattered...
Many secret black government underground bases have appeared all of a sudden, all over the world in order to fight superstition and mankind. Fake alien invasion groups have been running around like headless chickens telling us all how the aliens have...
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