For those football fans planning ahead to 2018 - which we ALL know by now is to be staged in Russia, choose your airlines wisely. This just in: The Dagestan Airlines Tupolev airliner carrying more than 160 people overshot the runway after landing at Domodedovo airport outside Moscow, with all three engines dead. More than 50 people were injured in the accident as the plane fell apart.
In a sensational move, which is sure to have seismic and seminal repercussions throughout the worlds of soccer and popular song, it has been announced from Bungenspiel Castle, the Bavarian Headquarters of the Eurovision Reichskommissariat, that the c...
MURDEROUS, semi-literate rage was building amongst English football fans last night as it emerged that the Football Association had played the film "Green Street" as part of their unsuccessful pitch to win the right to host the 2018 World Cup. Det...
FIFA has been sent into meltdown tonight as it has been revealed that their president, Sepp Blatter, is in fact a high class female prostitute. The shock revelation was discovered in the fall out of the 2018 and 2022 World Cup bidding announcement i...
The Russians are airing a recent video of a drunken, hallucinating squirrel, apparently celebrating Russia's bid to host the 2018 World Cup. The squirrel has bulging eyes and is staggering about mumbling incoherently in Russian. It cannot be conf...
London - (Balls-up Mess): Bollox PR of three shameless self-publicists is what did it. A cyber postmortem says today the footie world just can't get it up for the Tosspot Trio. Wannabe legends Cameron, Beckham and Wee Willy Windsor barely rais...
According to Wikileaks, England could have had three votes in the World Cup selection, however, Wikileaks reveals that there was only two bids, with England's bid going to Spain and Portugal instead of England. "We're lucky we got one," said David...
As the terrible news that England's 2018 World Cup bid had failed started to sink in this morning, the Wikileaks website announced that the reason behind the snub was that FIFA officials believe that Manchester United and England striker Wayne Rooney...
London - (Nuptial Tosspots): You can blame Clarence House tosspots for this one - or whoever else picked the 65th anniversary of Hitler's Berlin bunker wedding to Eva Braun as next year's Wills and Kate nuptials. That's the message from Zurich ton...
Zurich - (Offside Mess): Kate Middleton strippergram videos were being touted all over Zurich today in a last-gasp bid to secure the tournament. But some ugly rumors claimed FIFA officials would have preferred Beckham/Cameron/Prince William three...
Germany - (Tentacles): An autopsy result on the prescient cephalopod says he may not have died from natural causes. Alien pathologist Ray Santili found evidence that Paul's last prediction 'saw him pick Russia' as the successful 2018 World Cup bid...
Switzerland - (Gnomes Of Zurich Mess): The tosspot trio landed in Cloud Cuckooclock Land today ahead of the 2018 World Cup announcement. Billed as 'England's Finest!' their schmooze of bribery-accused FIFA officials promises discreet - and Wiki...
In a shock announcement, Sepp Blatter the president of the world Football federation, FIFA, has announced that Ireland are to be granted automatic entry into the 2014 World Cup. Although not explicitly said, many believe this is in response not be...
Councillor Nathan D'Stallion, 48, had some bad news for island residents on Wednesday. "It's sad news for the Isle of Wight today," he said, "as we have received notification from FIFA that we are not going to be the hosts for the 2018 World Cup."...
Pyongyang, North Korea - The North Korean government struck an agreement with the Asia-Pacific Broadcasting Union to beam a live broadcast of the soccer game on Monday of the match between North Korea and Portugal. But instead of this being a time to...
A routine check by a security guard at Wembley Park revealed the startling fact that over the weekend, with people's attention diverted to the world cup, a traveling band of gypsies had taken over the pitch and set up residency. The pitch, encomp...
In a last ditch bid to bring the 2018 World Cup to England after Lord Treesperm told some attention seeking ginger tart about the Spanish cheating as usual, the English F.A. have promised UEFA that if their bid is successful they will not choose anot...
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