Germany - (Tentacles): An autopsy result on the prescient cephalopod says he may not have died from natural causes.
Alien pathologist Ray Santili found evidence that Paul's last prediction 'saw him pick Russia' as the successful 2018 World Cup bidders.
The side is currently 4/1 for tomorrow's historic draw which is being touted as an England walk-over.
Big guns David Cameron, David Beckham and Wee Willy Windsor have been furiously schmoozing FIFA despite rumors of a Russian done deal.
Last night a Wikileaks source confirmed that Russia's bungs to the football world governing body easily eclipsed England's daftass bid.
Officials apparently had been offered ringside seats to William's wedding as a tantalising inducement for the 2018 event.
But because the wedding is being held on the 65th anniversary of Hitler's own bunker nuptials to Eva Braun the football world decided that was way too tacky to be taken seriously.
Russia's offer of wild nights with KGB redhead Anna Kushchenko easily won the day.
