Today election fever came to the small Scottish village of Balamory. On a visit to the area last week Gordon Brown noticed that all the houses in the village were painted different colours. On his return to London Mr Brown asked his campaign team to...
As David Cameron preaches about running the country and the economy sensibly, and on budget, we've just learned that he's so far behind on his water bills that the water company H2O are considering court action against him, with a view to sending the...
The Conservatives have put forth a proposal to solve the problems many small businesses face when employing 'young adults', or teenagers as we used to call them. Many employers face huge financial losses when lazy, disinterested and bored young st...
David Cameron has been crowned the New "Emperor of the Temple of Nothing". He won his crown by spectacularly unveiling his policies at the Battersea Power Station on Tuesday. In his policies he declared he wanted to do Nothing for the people of Bri...
The Tories launched their 2010 General Election manifesto today, at Battersea Power Station, in a hardback cover. PR men at Tory Towers decided that it should be a terrific tome worthy of the upperclass Tory twits. Journos and Tory followers are p...
The Conservative Party today announced its first concrete General Election policy plan by vowing to drag Scotland into the modern world. By the sporran. Kicking and screaming if necessary. Keen to drag the Scots into the civilised world, David Cam...
Susan Boyle is not a happy woman. She has been waiting for her M&S home delivery all morning. She has passed the time, squirming at her youtube audition video on her new iPad for hours on end. Someone should tell her there are loads more videos.
According to William Murray - a 101-year old bagpiper from the guid old Scottish Highlands, micro-blogger Stuart MacLennan has hammered another nail in the Labour Party's coffin. "Nae gonna win" harrumphed the old codger - a fighter for Scottish i...
David Cameron feels that he can attain a much coveted overall majority in the forthcoming election by targeting the ginger vote. Although no hard data is currently available on the number of ginger voters in the UK, it is generally believed that t...
UK readers will recall the yoppers, the young unemployed being put to work, on low wages. Now, the Conservatives are bringing it back under the guise of the National Citizen Service (NACIS). The catch this time, they don't get paid, it's "voluntary".
In a private, off the record conversation with a British businessman at a fundraiser in San Francisco, the Mayor of the Bay City, Gavin Newsome said that if the Conservative Party were to have any chance of evolving into a credible government, then t...
What it isn't. It does not take place every four years in the middle of any month. It is planned but the PM keeps that a secret, even from the Queen. It occurs, when the incumbent Prime Minister decides he's had his chips or someone else decides f...
The Conservative Party leader issued a solid declaration of intent to not only win the forthcoming General Election, but to win it with a crushing overall majority as he released the party election slogan - "Erm..." "How's that for a battle cry!"...
Hairbrush Dave has stolen a Susan Boyle song and made it his own. My number one priority is number one he smirked. My number two, three, four ad infinitum priorities are number one. It's all about me, this is who I was born to be he scowled. Susan...
In a speech, written by Bojo, Boris Johnson, Hairbrush Dave, recalled his fondness for his years spent at top Public School, Eton. Reminiscing about his days as a fag, he massaged his bum continuously. "If we stepped out of line, or when the S...
In the most positive move yet that signals that the gloves are off in the brave, new Tory election campaign, a clever group of bright-eyed young policy geeks called 'Think Right Think Tanks For 21st Century Liberty and Sunshine' have proposed a whopp...
David Cameron visited Glasgow last night for a public meeting, in the run up to the General Election. Cameron knowing how hostile Glasgow can be to Tories decided to investigate places in Glasgow to hold a meeting and stumbled upon Toryglen on the So...
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