David Cameron has been crowned the New "Emperor of the Temple of Nothing". He won his crown by spectacularly unveiling his policies at the Battersea Power Station on Tuesday. In his policies he declared he wanted to do Nothing for the people of Britain unless they were rich, and that was enough for him to win the title.
The Temple of Nothing awarding Committee was so impressed with David's call to inaction that it dethroned its present Emperor Boris Johnson immediately. Boris has been the Emperor for the last two years but the committee had in recent times become quite disillusioned with Boris because he had begun to show signs of being very useful and productive via the Olympic Committe and through his job as London Mayor. A spokesperson for the Temple of Nothing said.
"Its not good for the Emperor of Nothing to be seen to be helpful to the masses. That's why Boris had to go." Said Carolina Entropy, Chairman of the Temple of Nothing.
The position of the "Emperor of the Temple of Nothing" was created in the year 2007, after Carolina read a poem written by her friend Katie Graham in an underground online arty culture magazine read only by the impossibly cool. She said she felt it summed up the whole of the world in its current state. It was called the "Temple of Nothing" and can still be read online by googling poetry by Katie Graham.
Carolina Entropy will be holding a coronation ceremony in Trafalgar Square next Tuesday morning at 10.19. She hopes Mr Cameron will turn up to collect his Crown but if he doesn't, then, that's okay because it will be in keeping with the duties of his new job - The pursuit of inaction.
As can only be expected, the position of the "Emperor of the Temple of Nothing", is not a very high paid job. In fact it pays nothing. Carolina thinks David would be very proud to accept that, as that's what he wants to give the needy people of Britain.
By Katarina Frogpond