Mitt Romney announced today to a shocked press corps that if elected President "I will appoint Roger Ailes to head my new Cabinet level Department of Myths, Fables, Fictions and Assholes." "Nobody does made up stuff better than Roger," explained...
OSKALOOSA, Iowa - GOP front runner Mitt Romney pulled into Oskaloosa on his Mormon Merriment Presidential Campaign Bus Tour. The former governor of Massachusetts said that he can identify with the people of Oskaloosa who work hard planting, wateri...
US Presidential candidate Mitt Romney was in Berlin today on his world tour. He was accompanied by German chancellor Angela Merkel as he visited the Berlin Wall. The crowd was estimated at tens of thousands. Governor Romney began by saying, "Eich Bai...
Conservative pundit Rush Limbaugh stirred controversy last week when he accused Warner Brothers and director Christopher Nolan of using their new, heavily promoted blockbuster Batman movie The Dark Knight Rises as a vile piece of pro-Obama propaganda...
Presidential candidate Mitt Romney was speaking to a select group of financial supporters yesterday in the Hamptons and obviously had no idea his remarks would be reported in the media. He began by saying, "The great unwashed are people too, my frien...
WASHINGTON - Experts were quick to point out that Ann Romney was not mincing words today when she told ABC News, "We've given all you people need to know" in terms of past income tax returns. Linguists, however, were even quicker to disagree. "...
Mitt Romney in an angry outburst regarding his income taxes was so explicit; many of the female journalists walked out of the press briefing and Ann Romney reportedly covered her face and fled the room. Romney, who apparently was trying to explain...
Recently on CNN's State of the Union, Romney's adviser Ed Gillespie stated that Gov. Romney retroactively retired from Bain Capital in 1999 though it actually occurred in 2002. Mr. Gillespie as of this date has offered no explanation on how one i...
Special to TP News - Physicists at the CERN Laboratory in Switzerland announced that the Higgs boson, the so-called "God particle," resembles the Mormon angel Moroni. Moroni is the keeper of the golden plates on which is inscribed the Book of Mormon.
No, it isn't Giuliani or Bloomberg, but following the example of John McCain, who selected the former mayor of Wasilla, Alaska, Sarah Palin, as his veep, Mitt Romney has selected former mayor of Carmel, California, Clint Eastwood, as his veep. Recogn...
BOSTON (July 18)-Already tiring of the continually mocking, whining criticism from the U.S. press corps, Mitt Romney has decided to end the VP search effective immediately; he announced today that he will run on the Republican ticket as the candidate...
DOVER, Delaware - Mitt Romney's Mormon Merriment Presidential Campaign Bus Tour pulled into Dover, the town that claims to be the place where drinking straws were invented. Romney was asked by a gentleman who said he was 89, if he feels that he ca...
Hollywood CA: Cars was a computer animated comedy/adventure film produced by Pixar in 2006 for Disney Studios. Cars takes place in a world populated entirely by transportation vehicles exhibiting human qualities and employs the voices of Hollywood st...
BOISE, Idaho - Congressman Ron Paul's political campaign tour stopped off in Boise, the town where potatoes were first invented hundreds and hundreds of years ago. The native Texan told a crowd that had gathered in the parking lot of the local Bur...
NEW YORK CITY - In the interest of fair play, billionaire talking head, Donald Trump says that if Mitt Romney picks Condoleezza Rice to be his vice-presidential running mate that he will insist on viewing her birth certificate. Political Salad Bar...
ABERDEEN, South Dakota - Mitt Romney's campaign staff has urged him to hurry up and pick a vice-presidential running mate so that a lot of the focus and pressure can be taken off of him and placed on his choice for GOP running mate. A source withi...
KALAMAZOO, Michigan - Mitt Romney has stated that two of his top GOP campaign strategists have made a very good suggestion. Clayvert Vixenvox, 37, and Kipton Silvermintz, 68, have advised him to take a trip down south to sunny old Mexico, or as Ru...
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