Romney: "The great unwashed are people too, my friends! Well…kind of."

Funny story written by b kenneth mcgee

Friday, 20 July 2012

Presidential candidate Mitt Romney was speaking to a select group of financial supporters yesterday in the Hamptons and obviously had no idea his remarks would be reported in the media. He began by saying, "The great unwashed are people too, my friends," he paused and continued with a grin, "well…kind of."

As the assembled smirked and laughed, one man in an Armani suit stood up and shouted out, "You got that right, Mitt!" Romney smiled benignly at the man and continued: "But seriously, these folks do lots and lots of hard work and we should never forget to be grateful for that." Twenty-five pairs of hands in French Cuffs and diamond rings on their pinky fingers clapped politely.

Romney: "Now of course a great many of them do not do lots and lots of hard work. They live on their food stamps. Student loans, free emergency room care, and unemployment compensation." The candidate then winked at the crowd and said, "And then there are those who have been doing this for generations and you know who they are!" The same man stood up and shouted out, "You got that right Mitt!" Romney ignored him.

The candidate continued, "But, my friends, there are a good many of the great unwashed that do work. They wash your cars, work in your garden, and yes, some even work at desks a few floors below you in your corporation. They are not terribly educated, some maybe even have a college degree but you know, it's no like prep school or Harvard or Yale. They mean well, but you know, they are like children and need to be guided, nurtured, and kept in their place. They certainly shouldn't be allowed to vote!" The entire group stood up as one and shouted, "You got that right, Mitt!"

As a Romney aide circulated through the group and picked up the million dollar checks, the candidate concluded, "So my friends, trickle down is where we make our stand and I don't mean the kind we have when we go to the bathroom in the middle of the night!' Romney grinned and laughed at his own joke. "You got that right, Mitt," said the man.

As the attendees started to leave, the same man who had shouted out did so once again, "Hey Mitt, you're not going to show them your tax returns are you?"

Romney replied, "You got that right!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more