Written by b kenneth mcgee

Thursday, 19 July 2012

Mitt Romney in an angry outburst regarding his income taxes was so explicit; many of the female journalists walked out of the press briefing and Ann Romney reportedly covered her face and fled the room.

Romney, who apparently was trying to explain why he won't release his tax returns, grew angry when a reporter asked him why he didn't feel he had to share this information with the American public. "Why should you refuse to divulge your taxes when every other candidate for decades has felt the obligation to share this information with the voters?" Romney exploded,

"Listen Lefty liberal commie poopy pants, I'm not going to share my private life or my private parts for that matter with you or any of the other great un-washed. It's my tub, my bar of soap and it's nobody's business how long I wash it!" As many in the audience gasped in dis-belief, Romney went on un-abated; "One more thing," said Romney, "I have earned the right to remain silent! I am rich beyond any of your wildest dreams. While I was learning the finer things in life in private boarding schools, you and those like you were probably stealing tires or using your food stamps for a bottle of Thunderbird. We, and I don't mean we as in you and me, poopy pants, I mean we as in your betters, don't have to live a life of quiet desperation. We live by our own rules!" He paused and his face flushed red, "The next thing you community college graduates will want to know is, how many times I go ti-ti or poo in a day. Well, in case you didn't know, people like me don't go ti-ti or poo! We go to Bergdorff Goodman"

As chairs scrapped the floor and reporters started to leave, one female reporter held up her hand ."Yes," said Romney angrily, "what do you want to ask?

"Nothing," said the female reporter, "I just wanted to go ti-ti"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Topics: Mitt Romney

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
70 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more