Ford Prison, West Sussex: Following the New Year's Day rampage at Ford prison, Kenneth Clarke wishes to reassure people worried about a more liberal approach to crime, Mr Clarke is examining measures to make community penalties much tougher. Ken...
Simon Cowell, pop music mogul and part time vampire has confirmed today that he is working on a new show which will air in Spring 2011. The new show, "Prison's Got Talent", will see Cowell and 2 judges working their way around various jails in the...
Following several recent prison inmate fights at four U.S. northern states, prison officials have decided to flood the common area prison grounds, create an ice rink and distribute hockey equipment to anyone wanting time out of their cells. Adviso...
Wikileaks founder Julian Assange finally turned himself over to authorities after his credit cards were cancelled, he was turned out of his hidey hole for non payment of rent, and his condom sponsor "withdrew" further financial support due to 'brea...
LONDON - A Wikileaks document shows that George Alan O'Dowd, aka Boy George, lead singer with the 80s band Culture Club has decided to change his name. The female impersonating 'songstress' who has admitted that there is less in the crotch of his...
Talented and iconic American Actor, Wesley Snipes, has been on a crusade to avoid the payment of what the government claims to be his fair share of taxes, but recently lost his fight. Snipes will voluntarily surrender to Pennsylvania State Prison la...
CCA, Corrections Corporation of America, a private corporation that oversees, and is responsible for the health and well being of some 75,000 prisoners across America, has been accused of negligent care and irresponsible conduct. One of the prison...
Russian prisons renowned for their disgraceful conditions are cleaning up their act. The Russian government is even offering package holidays for "sickos" who want to enjoy the prison experience. Infamous prisons such as the Butyrka prison are...
Emergency services throughout the UK have been reporting a particularly busy day with exploding heads. Most cases seem to be connected with an item of news featured in the papers and the TV news this morning. "We've had dozens of cases here tod...
Giving prisoners detained at Her Majesty's Pleasure the right to vote is set to be introduced by the Coalition Government due to verdicts in the European Courts of Justice. The inmate constituency throughout Britain is around 100,000 people and it...
The European Union has stated that it is unconstitutional to remove the ability to vote when somebody goes to prison. Currently Britain is trying to be excepted from this particular edict. The initial objection was that it was too difficult to tra...
Justice Secretary Ken Clarke let the cat out of the bag when he declared of the UK economy: 'We are not out of the woods yet.' He considered that we were in 'grave danger of financial collapse'. According to Ken we are in for dramatic events neve...
Prison governors have warned that jails could close, as fewer criminals are set to receive custodial sentences. The claim is made in response to new sentencing guidelines, which could see upto 7,000 fewer people being given time inside. Chairman o...
As the day of reckoning approaches for the Coalition, it is reported that Prison Governors fear that their prisons may be emptied. With October 20th, aka "Big Cut day, vive the Big Society" the blackest day for the ordinary UK citizen since their...
Always eager to find new gaps in the shrinking mobile phone market, Apple believe they are on to a winner with the new Icon phone, designed specifically for prisoners' use. The phone is small, only the size of your thumb, and has a Teflon coating...
The Labour Opposition was in outrage, hastily sending quotes and sound bites to the tabloids after Crispin Blunt announced that gay prisoners in double cells will be able to demand double beds. Under Human Rights Acts all prisoners have a right to...
Walton Jail, Liverpool: New 40 Hour working week announced for prisoners having an alarming effect on the prisoners at Liverpools All Inclusive 4+ star Gaol. (GAOL, not GOAL, currently used sparingly at Liverpool FC) Secretary of State for INJusti...
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